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JUST A CRUEL JOKE

Submitted by Twizzle48 on Mon, 2024-10-07 13:02

JUST A CRUEL JOKE

So finally, I had decided to risk it
As nothing would change my mind
But a prize I won was just a biscuit

If a trick was played, it was unkind
I was unsure if I’d bother to collect
In the end I went, feeling resigned

I bought many tickets, in retrospect
Between bet and return, a disparity
And raffle rules apply, I do suspect

So there was I, searching for clarity
Stifling a laugh, a voice then spoke
Reminding me it was all for charity

But from that dream, I finally woke
Not any nightmare, just a cruel joke

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
10/24 The Cruel Joke
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2024-10-08 09:39

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the feeling that this poem is about the prize that was intimated, rather than what was received. The reminding voice is what we tell ourselves, when we are faced with the reality of disappointment. A very real emotion. I am very impressed with the rhyme scheme and the thought. Nice job. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Triskelion

Tue, 2024-10-08 10:15

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I am someway impressed how your word choices created nearly even lines and still managed to maintain the theme throughout. The rhyme scheme is also pretty cool

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

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