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PARADISE LOST and regained (Sept. contest)
I've walked these trails too oft before
throughout so many years
and never considered it a chore.
Why now do I fight back tears
....as leaves above lose summer's green?
Around the next bend, I remember,
that huge deer that my brother shot
on that cold day in late November
from that stand I used to hunt a lot.
....Both now gone through that final screen.
And beyond that hardwood ridge
still reclines that small watershed lake
far from any road or bridge
where dad and I would fish and sometimes take
.....a pause to see what might be seen
OOPS! that root almost got me
as it has so often in the past
when I'd bring along a friend to see
what can't be seen if viewed too fast
...like watching a wild turkey preen.
Today, though, I'm again alone
for most companions are now gone
to that place unreachable by phone
ignored by a world which still goes on
...I've become bored with this same scene...........
- - - -
I'm back again but not alone
for my grandson is here for company
who kicks and looks under each stone
then hollers "Pa Pa come and see!"
...wonderment at all there to be seen.
He's never seen this old hill side
and runs ahead to the small brook
then splashes to the other side
" Pa Pa come here and take a look!
....Pa Pa why does this tree lean?"
Then he jumps back with a startled cry
as a deer explodes right at his feet.
Wonderment is plain in his wide eyes
as the deer departs on cloven feet
....through autumn woods of faded green.
I laugh with him and look around
at woods which last week held no joy
listening to my old heart pound
with the wonder of that little boy
....seeing that which he has not yet seen.
Comments
raj
Sat, 2018-09-22 13:46
Stan
this is a great poem about lost and found/rediscovered moments through the next generation..
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raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Sat, 2018-09-22 15:39
Hi raj
I am really pleased with this month's contest prompt.I am glad you like my little scribble......stan
raj
Sat, 2018-09-22 15:49
True Stan...the contest
True Stan...the contest prompt is really thoughtful...i am looking forward to read more more submissions...as much as is the sad feeling of loss there is a greater joy in rediscovering it....you really brought it out well in your poem...sad that as a proponent of the contest you can't participate in it...yet this poem is like a beacon...
.................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Sat, 2018-09-22 17:13
Thank you
But I don't mind not being eligible. Just a minor thing compared to helping the site and giving (via volunteer judges) a monthly prompt.
lovedly
Sat, 2018-09-22 15:45
i only hope wish and pray
the judge has enough stamina
to read this lovely discourse
on LOST AND found
in any case you being a winner doesn't matter
you won't get the award
scribbler
Sat, 2018-09-22 17:16
Everybody worried about my not being eligible....
I DON"T MIND lol. There will come a time when I hand off directorship to somebody and maybe then I'll worry about winning.....but I doubt it. Appreciate your visit and don't worry, I'll read your entry within the next few days........stan
lovedly
Thu, 2018-09-27 23:07
pl do as finally
Revised
some had doubts on Zodiac tried to clarify
Basics Mr SIMPSON
baysick
Shadowdancer3349
Sat, 2018-09-22 17:41
Stan
Still nothing to add suggest or correct I always did enjoy your writing
scribbler
Sat, 2018-09-22 20:23
Hi Shadow
No problem as I go back and edit stuff all the time even when others haven't supplied ideas for improvement lol. Appreciate your time and kind comment........stan
Geezer
Mon, 2018-09-24 13:54
You know me...
Most of the time, I can't remember what the form of a poem is... but, I always enjoy your thoughts. I like the ending lines of each stanza being a singular thought that rhymes and in some way ties the whole of it together. Great theme of loss and recovery through the eyes of someone just discovering! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Mon, 2018-09-24 14:31
Hi Geeze
I'm not sure what this form is called but I have a fuzzy memory of having seen it used by somebody else before I used it lol. Thanks for coming by and glad you enjoyed this.......stan PS hmmm..... fuzzy memory...sounds like Kavanaugh accuser lol
lovedly
Thu, 2018-09-27 23:09
gee
get well
will ye
i'm waiting
for thee
gregwa8
Thu, 2018-09-27 21:44
love this. I too like the one
love this. I too like the one line ending to each stanza. living life again, through your grandchildren. seeing the beauty through their eyes. you have a tender heart. and have written well about what you feel. thanks.
scribbler
Fri, 2018-09-28 01:57
Hi greg
I am pleased you took time to drop by. I'm sure there's a name for this form but you'd have to ask one of the real poets on site what it is lol.I Do know it's not something I came up with because I vaguely recall seeing it elsewhere before I used it for the first time......stan