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SHEPHERD
When storms wrack me in my life
you bring back gentle breeze.
When cold acts cut me like a knife
we walk to set my soul at ease.
During times of pain and doubt
I feel you right here at my side.
As my journey takes me all about
like earth, I know you will abide.
The church where I prefer to go,
hand made by time and sun and rain,
Mere chemistry won't make it grow
or let it heal a tired man's pain.
You guide me down the trails I take
and let me know when, oft, I stray.
When hot sun seems to nearly bake
you slake my thirst at end of day.
Let others say you are not there.
Blind eyes will never care to see
that you are nearly everywhere
but mostly here inside of me.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-03-31 06:03
I just love your works
Of love and the thoughts you express about your loved one
This is the best line
that you are nearly everywhere
but mostly here inside of me.
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-03-31 06:03
I just love your works
Of love and the thoughts you express about your loved one
This is the best line
that you are nearly everywhere
but mostly here inside of me.
scribbler
Sun, 2013-03-31 10:33
Hi french
Thank you. Sometimes finding a good end to a poem is tough but this ending pretty much wrote itself. Appreciate the visit...............stan
Seren
Sun, 2013-03-31 07:56
Beautiful poem Stan
it left me with a deep sense of peace
lovely lovely write
I cant see anything I would change or alter
love Jayne-Chloe x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Sun, 2013-03-31 10:35
Hi Jayne
Everybody needs an anchor in their life. For some it's religion, for others it can be a loved one. I am lucky to have both....................stan
Seren
Sun, 2013-03-31 23:58
We are both blessed to have
We are both blessed to have both :)
love Jayne-Chloe x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Sun, 2013-03-31 18:43
Stan
Your God, your Love, that you have both and that they walk with you is reflected in all your words, and the ways you perceive things, Go well my friend the world will never harm you, as you hold the universe, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Sun, 2013-03-31 19:00
you are unique in your own way
and I of my own
twain shall never meet
universe and eternity may
Stan yet from loving your poetry
I can't stay away..
you too do read me
once in a wild odd way!
loved
scribbler
Mon, 2013-04-01 12:17
Hi Ian
I know of people who have neither and can't understand how they get through their days. Appreciate the visit........stan
scribbler
Mon, 2013-04-01 12:19
Hi loved
Thank you. I read most things posted here but there are not enough hours in the day to comment on all I read lol. I'm pleased you found time to comment on this little scribble.................stan
loved
Mon, 2013-04-01 13:38
I now spend more time reading you ...than composing
as this site sliced me
ten poems i could compose
at the drop of a hat
only one was worthy
and as Jess would have said
a gem
in slush!
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2013-04-02 10:28
hi
We should All spend more time reading and less writing . But you should spend it reading others than this old scribbler lol.................stan
loved
Tue, 2013-04-02 11:25
i read all those who are
equally generous towards my free verse
and you are
loved
Josephus
Fri, 2013-04-12 10:42
A pleasure and a meditation
As you I find strength and solace in God. I envy the strength and intimacy of your relationship with your wife. You have expressed those values in ways I could never have. I value your God given talent.
There is a bit of Frost in you!
Joe
My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.
scribbler
Fri, 2013-04-12 11:56
Hi Joe
Thank you. To have even a fraction of Frost's talent would be a blessing. I appreciate your visit............stan
Seren
Sat, 2016-04-30 08:44
Wow this takes me back .. to
Wow this takes me back .. to better times in more ways than one, sigh .. love and hugs xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Sat, 2016-04-30 16:52
Wow is right!
I'm surprised anybody dug this oldie back up. But I'm pleased it took you back to happier times. Take care...........stan