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Haiku trio (Autumn)
Hush! It is evening
Nature paints her landscapes
Colors goldenrod
Autumnal changes
Ecliptic intersections
Bringing natures' dance
The autumnal feast
From the horn of plenitude
Serves celebration
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2010-11-23 12:10
I like this...
nice theme , that fused all three. Have to go look at rules, for the technicals, but they sound so smooth, They must be right! ~ Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:23
Thanks, Sir Gee
I'm glad to see you and that you enjoyed my little ode to autumn.
love, cat
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:25
Dear Shirl
Thank you! Fall is my favorite time of year.
love, cat
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:27
Sweet Xena,
You are so very kind.
love, cat
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Dalton
Tue, 2010-11-23 15:53
Dear Candlewitch
I'm never sure of the technical details of writing haikus. It takes a very tight structure. But Kerouac said we don't have to follow the rules of the haiku to the letter as they were ordered and are governed by the rules of another language. I think you have achieved something special here. John
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:31
Dear John
Thank you for that bit of information on Kerouac, it sounds wise to me. I appreciate your visitation and response.
always, cat
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Race_9togo
Tue, 2010-11-23 18:11
Cat,
Distinct shades of Samhain all through these.
Most excellent.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:33
Hi Jim
You hit the nail on the head! And win a big smile from me!
love, cat
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loved
Tue, 2010-11-23 20:24
i know all about
haiku
and
u
wonderfully
dooooooo
HAIKU
loved
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:34
hello Loved
:) thank you!
always, cat
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scribbler
Tue, 2010-11-23 21:40
trio
I am glad to see I'm not the only one who finds Haiku better in series. Well done........scribbler
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:36
Dear scribbler
absolutely, much better in series!
love, cat
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Victorclaude
Tue, 2010-11-23 22:06
I liked them all.
I liked them all.
Very nicely done!
Victor
"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."
Unknown (at least to me)
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:39
Dear Victorclaude
Thank you very much, glad you liked them.
always, cat
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:41
Dear Jayne
I am looking forward to reading your Spring haiku!
much love to you, cat
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lou
Wed, 2010-11-24 01:37
Pure
They evoke the crisp coolnes of Autumn, pure and beautiful.
Lou xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:42
Dear Lou
I am pleased that you enjoyed my little string!
love, cat
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mand
Wed, 2010-11-24 02:42
Helloo Cat
I don't know much about Haiku, but I do know that this is a beautiful poem.
Love Mand xxxxxx
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-11-24 11:44
Dear Mand
I don't often write nature poems but this one is special to me. Thank you!
love, cat
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Nordic cloud
Thu, 2010-11-25 06:01
Wind tossed colours three,
Wind tossed colours three,
regale the page here Candlewitch,
bewitching our minds...... a moment as the haiku do,
I like your kind of haiku very much,
this is lovely, the brush of nature
painting the golden rods ,
that flower so late into the fall,
their rods of ochre gold can be saved
for Winter months, as decoration and
with other flowers, they all fade to the most
delicate tints and shades of their former selves.
The second and third one's I like too,
the second making one think....ecliptic intersections,
lovely way of ushering the Autumn in.
You have exactly got the 5/7/5,
admirable indeed.
You usher us in with your hush!
And we hush....
to read.
Thank you Candlewitch with my love Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-11-25 09:52
Dear Lovely Ann
I am tickled that you gleaned so much meaning and enjoyment from my haiku string of three verses! Thank you for visiting and sharing with me what you think and feel.
love, cat
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ziggy
Thu, 2010-11-25 16:53
hi cat
hi cat I have missed this as I have had my head
stuck in that wonderful book its a real trill
to have it , I love the way you have knit these words together here
much love ,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2010-11-28 12:27
Dear Ziggy
Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you are enjoying the book! Don't let it keep you up nights ;)
Love Cat
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Hooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-11-25 18:05
Cat
Cat,
perfectly crafted lines...worked well as a set of three.
I'm not a fan of Haiku, but I can't knock these ones I have no idea of the technicalities and rules, but I remember a member of Neopoet (doorman) who seemed to be an expert in Haiku. Sod rules anyway, they are only made to be broken afterall.
I was waiting for Styx to show up in the last one and destroy the tranquil setting!!...Lol!
Why is Autumn special to you?
regards,
HS
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2010-11-28 12:36
Dear HS
Every now and then I feel the need to write something "normal" as apposed to my usual whacked-out fare. I love the autumn because the intense heat of summer is over and the leaves on the trees change color. I also love Halloween (Samhain I hope I spelled that correctly, pronounced sowin) which is the birthday of Eddy Styx.)
love, cat
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loved
Tue, 2011-03-15 14:24
The most beautifullest
haiku poetry
i've ever read
7 5 7
so succcint
loved
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-03-16 10:43
:)
Thank you Loved!
always, Cat
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raj
Tue, 2011-03-15 14:31
Dear Cat
I agree totally with Geeser...it is a wonderful fusion of Haikus and creates the wonderful moods of Autumn in its glory...i enjoyed it. immensely..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-03-16 10:45
Dear raj,
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me.
Always, Cat
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