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SISTER PAULINE
I was dressed in school colours, bottle green
On my first encounter with Sister Pauline.
The habit she wore and her stare intensive,
In making me silent, I grew defensive.
The courage I had, was pulled straight from my soul,
with Sister Pauline demanding control.
In her weird sayings, she was purposely hard,
And the words that she spoke, I’d disregard.
‘Girls, if you’re at a party and the lights go off,
Jump up on the table, yes boys, they’ll scoff.
but tell them the truth, loud and without fear,
I’m a good catholic girl, don’t come near’
‘And if a boy asks you to sit on his knee,
Don’t agree without a phone directory.
Better practice is to use two such books,
Bad boys want you tight upon their hooks.’
I figured out why she’d stand by her word,
Sister Pauline’s statements, cried, I’m absurd.
Clear frustration in this woman that I knew,
And resentment, because her lovers always withdrew.
Comments
neopoet
Sat, 2023-05-06 09:55
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Sister Pauline" paints a vivid picture of a strict and unconventional nun who leaves a lasting impression on the speaker. The use of school colors and the description of Sister Pauline's habit effectively transport the reader to the setting of a Catholic school. The poem's rhyme scheme and meter flow nicely, adding a playful tone to the somewhat dark subject matter.
However, the poem's message becomes somewhat muddled towards the end. The sudden shift from cautionary advice to the revelation that Sister Pauline had spent most of her life sitting on a man's knee feels disconnected and confusing. It would benefit from a clearer connection between the two themes.
Additionally, the line "Makes sure your separated with a phone directory" could be edited to "Make sure you're separated with a phone directory," to correct the grammatical error.
Overall, "Sister Pauline" is an engaging and well-crafted poem that could benefit from some clarity in its messaging.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Ruby Lord
Sat, 2023-05-06 10:05
Thanks Bot. A demonstration
Thanks Bot. A demonstration of how humans and AI are different. Humans recognise irony whereas Bots can't or don't. I think it's can't I know there are some people who don't understand irony but most of the human race does. I've corrected my typo, thank you for that.
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-05-06 10:52
dear Ruby,
he got one thing right (AI) it is a well crafted poem. Sister Pauline seems to have had a penchant for being dreary. while the priest is more sinister... I need to think on this for awhile.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ruby Lord
Sat, 2023-05-06 11:15
Thank you Cat.
Thank you Cat.
Sister Pauline was a bit of a cow but hey, I don't suppose every teacher had to be nice ha ha. The school was run by nuns so there was no escape from their religion. I think it turned me into a rebel, I didn't rnjoy that school at all. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Unca Fez
Sat, 2023-05-06 11:16
Who Was He?
The question that this poem leaves me with is: Upon who's knee had Sister Pauline sat? Was it some priest within her order or someone from her past prior to joining the sisterhood? The former might be the reason that "She was the nun who had complete control", while the latter might be the reason that she joined the sisterhood.
Of course, there is the third possibility that both of those possibilities were true. What a hard life for her!
Thanx,
Steve
Ruby Lord
Sat, 2023-05-06 11:24
Thank you for your comments and question.
Ahhhh, originally I said it was a priest but I changed it to a man, cowardly of me but I've had negative reactions to some of my work before when I've implicated a priest or a nun in my fiction work ha ha.
Sister Pauline isn't a work of fiction, she really did make those two statements to the girls but I don't know if she sat on a man's knee, I made that up.
The headmistress was a nun, she was very good looking and a year after I left school she left the school and got married.
Yes, their lives seem to be hard but Sister Pauline liked to make life difficult for the girls. :(
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Obadiah Grey
Sat, 2023-05-06 11:53
Oh, I truly hope that she got
Oh, I truly hope that she got to sit on a mans knee!,,
(I like to think your nun was,,, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE-BKrAAZGc
The Catholic school just up the road from my heathen school used to make girls wear two pairs of knickers.
I'm curious as to your comment "I've had negative reactions to some of my work before when I've implicated a priest or a nun in my fiction work ha ha." You mustn't be afraid to annoy, embarrass, offend anyone,,,,,,, fuck 'em I say!
Obi.
Ruby Lord
Sat, 2023-05-06 12:24
Ha ha, no Sister Pauline was
Ha ha, no Sister Pauline was the one with the not so wise words. Sister Judith was the one who got married and had a baby, but I don't know if she was pregnant before she got married or after, who knows? I liked the video link :) very good.
I wrote a book a few years ago, it's based on the church and nuns and priests and you know..... Well some of my reviews were not good, mainly from the catholics ha ha. https://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Blacks-Dogs-Irish-ebook/dp/B00EDQCEKG/ref=sr...
Thank you for you comments Obi, always good to read and yeah, fuck em, I've changed it back. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Geezer
Sat, 2023-05-06 20:47
You must not...
be afraid of offending everyone or you will please no one! I don't know if anyone has ever said that, or I just made it up, but it certainly seems true. I liked this one, it is a story, that likely seems true. I've known a few people that have been so narrow minded, and obsessive about sex and not having it, that they border on crazy. [Maybe even crazy].
The title is good, the story better, and the language equally so.
The pace and rhythm not too bad; the meter could use some attention and the piece
would certainly profit by some work on it. It is a good, solid piece that deserves a little bit of TLC. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Ruby Lord
Sun, 2023-05-07 05:34
Thank you Geezer, I'll take
Thank you Geezer, I'll take another look at it. It is a true story, apart from the ending, but who knows, even that may be true? She told the girls what to do at a party if the lights went off and not to sit on a boys knee without two telephone directories. I think she liked to take the fun out of life :)
All the nuns were obsessed with sex, as were the girls. All those raging hormones had to be expressed some how. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Ruby Lord
Mon, 2023-10-02 05:43
Thank you Mark for your
Thank you Mark for your support and comments. Nuns, yes, I never understood why they were so cruel. Many of the girls in my school were made to stand on the stage after assembly, and made to drink water, laced with washing up liquid if they were caught smoking or swearing. The Nuns had very warped ideas. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Clentin
Mon, 2023-10-09 10:34
A poem that reflects the
A poem that reflects the early school days dominated by nuns. I’ve been there, experienced some of the cruelty. Not all nuns were cruel, it only takes a few to dirty up the rest!
Ruby Lord
Mon, 2023-10-09 13:39
I know what you mean, it was
I know what you mean, it was like a competition at my school but I can't say I remember any of them with fondness which is sad. Thank you for your comment. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Leslie
Tue, 2023-11-14 07:39
Religion is always a source of consternation!
Do you believe the bullshit
the brain is pitching us?
You have got to be insane!
Running round with your eyes cast to the ground.
Is God such a heathen
That He would leave you
without reason.
To stem the tide of blackness
Welling up from inside you?
Come now, make sense of
this mess.
Goodness and virtue are at
your core
Whether or not you pass
some godforsaken test.
Can you not look Him in the eyes
and believe anything less?
He put it inside you!
Lay down your self scrutiny and rest!
Then stand again and walk on.
What this brought out in me
were the feelings, intense feelings of a
young girl under scrutiny and condemnation
as well as emotional suffocation.
All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!
Ruby Lord
Wed, 2023-11-15 06:24
I would say your response is
I would say your response is poetic in itself. Your words are carefully considered and reflect perfectly on my poem.
Thank you for reading and your thoughts on my poem. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Jokerface82
Wed, 2024-01-03 03:28
I'm highly offended.!
I'm not and like thay all say above me don't worry about offending anyone I enjoyed it thank you
Ruby Lord
Wed, 2024-01-03 05:18
Hi Jokerface, thank you for
Hi Jokerface, thank you for your comment. I hope never to offend anyone, but hope and reality are very different :)
Now I think, if people are offended, how the hell do they get through life? There are so many offensive things happening across the world.
I do appreciate your comments, Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Jokerface82
Wed, 2024-01-03 08:12
Yup
Freedom of speech is getting taken away from us A. I getting more insane soon no humans will be working in an office
a shop anywere even the powers to be have got even worst changing all the Ronald dahls books and trying to change
Fiction horror, extreme horror. Then we have what pronouns shall I use to speak to you ? to address you so you are not offended then we have chipping pandemic just goes on. Anyway blahhh to tht I just see more censorship all the time
Jokerface82
Wed, 2024-01-03 08:13
I Voted for you so good luck
Good luck....
Ruby Lord
Wed, 2024-01-03 08:22
Thank you so much, I
Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Horacio
Mon, 2024-07-15 18:26
From one parochial school survivor to another: I loved it!
Isn't it amazing how much writing material we can gather from our childhood experiences? You did well in describing your memories of Sister Pauline. I very much enjoyed your work and can relate whole-heartedly with every line. I wrote a much longer poem in an attempt to recapture and tell of my experiences. I am including one stanza of a twelve stanza poem entitled "Coping With Penguins".
They always smelled like soap, plain, clean, black and white
Trusting me with the popcorn which I dutifully
Evened out stuffing my mouth with my tithe
Smiling to myself
Kernels stuck in my teeth
Salt and butter oozing from my pores
My eyes yellow quarter moons…Proclaiming Joy
I shall continue to look for your writings.
Horacio Chávez
Ruby Lord
Tue, 2024-07-16 05:03
Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and commenting Horacio, it is amazing how those early events stay with us, for what seems like forever but Sister Pauline was a long time ago.
I would love to read your Penguin poem in its entirety. Can you post it on here?
Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Horacio
Tue, 2024-07-16 13:35
For you
This should probably be more "memoirish" in form but, nevertheless, here it is...warts and all.
Coping With Penguins: How To Break the Habit Without really trying… horacio
Don’t get me wrong
Penguins
Are dying breeds in many ways?
That we fail to comprehend
They used to be my teachers at
St. Mary’s
The things we learned were important
And the requirements were strict
Like the Penguins with rulers and yardsticks
To herd you to and from Mass in a state of Grace
Without pushing and shoving and setting off
Fire extinguishers to run down the hall and
Back again scared shitless the soda water
Would eat through the floor
Or singled out of line sent to the library
To wait
For the thrashing with the rubber tipped ash pointer
Darting around the desk avoiding the grasp of the
Penguin with desiccated skin
Unaccustomed to the dry New Mexico air which mummifies
As she stood by the door ordering me back to class
I froze
Eyes fixed on her proximity, measuring distances
Calculating the odds
Finally she moved and I could escape the grasp of
The Penguin
They always smelled like soap, plain, clean, black and white
Trusting me with the popcorn which I dutifully
Evened out stuffing my mouth with my tithe
Smiling to myself
Kernels stuck in my teeth
Salt and butter oozing from my pores
My eyes yellow quarter moons…Proclaiming Joy
Good Fridays were in deed Good!
Fasting for Holy Communion
Afterwards for nickels and dimes hot cocoa and doughnuts
A feast not fit for Penguins but for me?
Of course
Let them eat fish on Fridays
I will eat doughnuts and swig sweet cocoa
So was the school Parochial?
Yes in response to the heathen public indoctrination
We were filled with catechism and phonics
Serving Mass in Latin much like parrots
Repeating prayers with meaning unknown
But not at all like
Penguins
In their defense they put up with our confederacy
Reputation preceding us with good cause
Frankie, Gomicindo, Victor, Alfred, Barney
And me: silent, smart, slippery, toxic, lethal…
Then there was Anita Long my secret heartthrob
Who could have been a
Penguin
Or maybe The Red-Haired Girl
Though she did not have red hair
I was Charlie Brown before he was
In hindsight she was somehow beautiful
Tall, skinny, white, in her blue jumper and white blouse
Beenie folded in half, stylishly placed on her head
With bobby pins
She had not a clue how I loved her from my secret place
Behind her purposely in the pews at daily mass
My prayers were for her to return my love
As an altar boy I was a success
Swigging the left over and not so left over sacramental
Wine
(Especially Fr Mac’s sauterne)
Munching the sacramental but un-transubstantiated
Bread
Dinging out the notes on the xylophone with
Father Mac’s golfball mallet
Going to missions with Fr. Patrick Boyle
An Irish transplant blonde, funny and loaded with
Mr. Goodbars
The bonds formed by mutually assured destruction
Are strong
They have the sticks and we have the
Projectiles
They have their rosaries and soap
And I have fenders held by la parrot
They had Jesus and I had…Anita
Ruby Lord
Tue, 2024-07-16 14:36
Your details bring this
Your details bring this starkly to life. I really enjoyed it. Why don't you post it in the site for other people to read? They won't get to see it here.
I don't remember mass in Latin but most of it I didn't understand anyway & I was a kid, never going to take much notice of Father Hughes whose voice grated and bored in the same sinister sentence delivery.
My secondary school was run by nuns, penguin is the perfect description. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.