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The Standoff
You are not far away as the crow flies
I will be back with you by sunrise
The rain it starts to pour heavy down
As the blood soaks into the ground
As it slowly seeps into the soft dirt
I pray for less, but I get more hurt
I am a wanted man in this town
So I fire off just one more round
I have never been a violent man
The Police just do not understand
I feel a sting as it enters my mind
Hurt more when you left me behind
I know that they will lay me low
As through my eyes blood flows
As they lay me six in the ground
To the earth, I am forever bound
There beside my grave, she lays
With flowers upon her grave
She lays beside me forever more
Will find peace we never found before
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Kristen H.
Sun, 2022-12-04 22:10
This...
This is beautifully written.
Depressed 1
Sun, 2022-12-04 23:00
Thanks
Thanks Kristen
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
Geezer
Mon, 2022-12-05 09:46
My only suggestion is...
to change the [Will] to [We'll]. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Depressed 1
Tue, 2022-12-06 01:37
Thanks
Thanks Geezer
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-12-06 15:00
Maybe a quick corrrction
As they lay me six (feet) in the ground.
Stellar as usual.
Tim
Depressed 1
Wed, 2022-12-07 01:57
Thanks
Thanks Tim
https://www.artofelpaso.com/