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Voice Mail From The Grave (contest) #14
it is 3 a.m.
I am fully aware.
I lay for a few minutes
in my cozy bed...
listening!
my eyes wide open
my mind fully awakened!
I hear the wind
rustling through the trees
leaves sounding like old bones.
bellow the wind,
I think I hear a voice
a disembodied voice
faintly calling my name...
I listen more intensely,
to pierce the delicate veil
between death and life.
straining my ears to hear...
ah, there it is again
your beautiful voice
coming closer,
then footsteps on the stair...
at long last, you are HERE!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2022-04-14 17:08
hi Cat
A good one about awaiting a loved one beyond the chasm
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-04-14 17:55
hello Scribbler,
thank you very much for reading and commenting on my challenge entry of the day...like soup d'jor or something like that! I sometimes barely speak american, lol! Steve gets a little upset with me when I just nod and grunt!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-04-15 02:25
Closer, closer...
Oh Lord! your beautiful voice! It's mommy, come to see why I'm crying!
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-04-15 07:16
good morning,
thanks, Geez!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-04-16 01:30
Wow
This is deep poetry. May be a dream of encountering a dead loved one. Well written. Truly, you are creatively deep. I love your choice of words.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-04-16 01:31
Wow
This is deep poetry. May be a dream of encountering a dead loved one. Well written. Truly, you are creatively deep. I love your choice of words.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-04-16 05:30
dear Onyinyechi,
I hope I spelled your name right. I'm not very good with spelling, but I try hard... this one is about being rescued by my Aunt Joyce. she often stood beside me when my mother was enraged with me. she was my mother's half sister. she thought I was a funny/comical little person. she died young. after having her baby.
thank you for reading and commenting.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-04-16 17:54
Yeah you got the spelling
Oh sorry for the loss!
The poem is now clear to me.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-04-29 21:02
Hi Cat
Chilling and beautiful at the same time. I have been on the receiving end of a disembodied voice saying my name and it makes the hair on ones arms stand up. A great visual as well as write.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-04-30 09:38
dear Rose,
I met my first ghost when I was six years old. it was a life and attitude altering experience! thanks for commenting :)
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Sun, 2022-05-01 18:04
Hi Cat
I met mine as an adult in my late twenties and it took until last year to figure out what his message was. I still visit him even tho he has moved on.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-05-02 07:16
that is beautiful!
so you still carry a bit of him with you...
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Wed, 2022-05-04 16:00
Hi Cat
Indeed I do.
~RoseBlack~