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GIFTED ? PET
We've got a little wiener dog
( the kind that's shaped just like a log )
he's friendly and a wee bit sassy
too bad for us he's also gassy
Perhaps it's too much human food
that sets his digestion to brood
well, whatever the cause is
when it turns loose, gee whiz
Our white walls once so mellow
from his methane are turning yellow
and it won't be long , I feel
before his gas makes the paint peel
And they are silent and deadly
there's never any warning medley
to alert us to approaching doom
giving a chance to clear the room
Oft in the middle of a write
the cloud arrives and blurs my sight
I must now bring this to an end
for Oscar just farted again..........
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
OH THE HUMANITY !!!!!
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-09 16:25
oscar
he only smokes if a match is lit around him at the wrong time lol...............stan
scribbler
Mon, 2011-01-10 10:18
pet
This is first posting and don't kid yourself about rats not farting lol .................stan
Kailashana2
Mon, 2011-01-10 06:27
I remember my dog, Miles,
I remember my dog, Miles, would quietly get up and leave the room when my X farted. ;-)
Give Oscar a wienerschnitzel for me.
Suggestion: L-16 instead of leave, how about *clear*...
~A
scribbler
Mon, 2011-01-10 12:33
pet
It's bad when even the dog leaves lol. I'll take your suggestion too...................scribbler PS is that why he's your ex ?