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Trippin'

Orange and blue
a pungent haze.
Tripin' away
three long hard days
Your mind is on fire
Your eyes are ablaze
Heaven and earth
have come closer today
You fumble just to
gain your composure
but find that your negligence
Lead to over exposure
You make your way back
to your room in the dorms
sequestering yourself
And escapeing self harm!

Last few words: 
This is my best work today, due to circumstances beyond my cotrol.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Trippin'" effectively utilizes descriptive language to create vivid imagery, particularly in lines such as "Your mind is on fire / Your eyes are ablaze". This helps to convey a sense of intensity and disorientation, which aligns with the poem's title and overall theme.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of rhyme and rhythm. For instance, the rhyme scheme appears to be somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Establishing a more consistent rhyme scheme could enhance the poem's musicality and make it more engaging to read.

Additionally, the poem could also benefit from more careful attention to punctuation and capitalization. For example, the line "And escapeing self harm!" seems to be missing a comma after "And", and "escapeing" should be spelled "escaping". Correcting these errors would improve the poem's readability and professionalism.

Lastly, the poem's narrative could be developed further. While the poem does a good job of conveying a sense of disorientation and confusion, it could provide more insight into the speaker's emotional state and motivations. This would add depth to the poem and make it more engaging for readers.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Your best for today was well done....I get the sense of some brain fog going on and a sense of confusion. I am not sure if the cause is emotional or substance related but I can definitely empathize with those feelings.

~RoseBlack~

This was a real experience and we all know that phyical trauma many times becomes emotional trauma. Mine has lasted for almost forty years!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

Never seems to end. You are correct. I find emotional has been so much worse than physical even tho physical caused some of the emotional. I hope you are doing well

~RoseBlack~

I escaped this menace on several occasions. It
used to br more difficult to avoid. When I was more loosely wrapped. I had to learn to live in my head.
Where I could control the energy by pushing it in to my subconcious,

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

I escaped this menace on several occasions. It
used to br more difficult to avoid. When I was more loosely wrapped. I had to learn to live in my head.
Where I could control the energy by pushing it in to my subconcious,

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

I escaped this menace on several occasions. It
used to br more difficult to avoid. When I was more loosely wrapped. I had to learn to live in my head.
Where I could control the energy by pushing it in to my subconcious,

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

No doubt, no doubt. Thanks for reading this. I totally get it.
If you feel so disposed send me a personal message.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment
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