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Tomorrow’s Soldier

Submitted by Stevo on Thu, 2023-09-14 22:59

Why do we send our children to war,
To seek revenge or settle a score?
They’re young and strong and full of life,
They have no fear of trouble or strife.

We’ll fire them up and wish them well,
And then send them trough the gates of hell.
It’s just an adventure and it’s all so exciting,
Do they even know who or why they are fighting?

For those who return all battered and sore,
No thanks for fighting a rich man’s war.
A terrible waste of young women and men,
They did what was asked and they’d do it again.

Physical scars and mental fatigue,
A constant reminder of an awful gig.
But once a year we’ll have a parade,
So they won’t feel they’ve been betrayed.

Tomorrow’s soldier, not yet even born,
Around their necks dog tags will be worn.
They’ll be honest and true to the core,
And that’s why we send our children to war.

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Fri, 2023-09-15 05:00

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Tomorrow’s Soldier," effectively utilizes a rhyming scheme and rhythm to convey a poignant message about war and its impact on young soldiers. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further refinement.

The poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza containing four lines and an AABB rhyme scheme. This consistency aids in the readability of the poem and helps to maintain a steady rhythm. However, the meter varies from line to line, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. To enhance the rhythm, consider revising the lines to have a consistent number of syllables.

The poem's theme, the impact of war on young soldiers, is a powerful one. The poem does a good job of conveying the physical and emotional toll of war, but it could delve deeper into the psychological aspects. For example, the line "Physical scars and mental fatigue" could be expanded to provide more insight into the mental struggles soldiers face.

The poem's use of rhetorical questions, such as "Do they even know who or why they are fighting?" is effective in engaging the reader and encouraging them to reflect on the poem's message. However, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery to further engage the reader's senses and emotions.

The final stanza introduces the concept of "Tomorrow’s soldier," which is a compelling idea. However, the poem could benefit from further exploration of this concept. For example, the poem could delve into the societal and individual factors that contribute to the creation of "Tomorrow’s soldier."

The poem's language is straightforward and accessible, which aids in conveying its message. However, the poem could benefit from the use of more varied and sophisticated language to enhance its poetic quality. For example, the line "A terrible waste of young women and men" could be rephrased in a more poetic and impactful way.

In conclusion, "Tomorrow’s Soldier" is a poignant poem that effectively utilizes structure and theme to convey its message. However, it could benefit from enhancements in rhythm, depth of exploration, imagery, and language.

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