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Still Of The Night (by: eddy styx)

I met her
a very long time ago.
what I noticed first
was her long russet hair.
then her complexion
rosy pink, so fair.
her lilting laugh
lifting me up,
from my constant morass.
I fell in definite "like"
hesitating, on the brink
as she pledged her heart to me,
we promised to meet at 3 in the morning
you walked me back to my place
we shared a sip from your flask
you complimented my taste
on She...such a fine young @ss
I never saw it coming,
never sensed the warning,
but something nudged me
to follow you back to see
what midnight madness was calling.
in the shadows well hidden
I saw right away, the two of you
under the glowing street light
doing the things lover's do.
the killing fever singing in my blood
calming myself to do what I must
I would kill her so neatly
where she lay in her bed,
strangle her ever so sweetly
as night waited for the dawn.
then I'm coming after YOU
the night after this.
so be on your guard
gather your wits
for I'm loaded for bear
now you've got the sh!ts.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
*eddy styx is my MALE, murderous alter ego who writes dark poetry.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

do try an edit make
Cats
But just tell me
why it mostly happens
at 3 am

it happens at 3 a.m. because that is my (eddy styx's magical hour. it is still dark but soon comes the dawn) what part or section would you like to see edited? I will try if I can. thank you for reading and commenting, gentle reader.

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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