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Shattered

Submitted by Dystopia on Mon, 2023-01-02 21:57

Thoughts rain down,
To my ears, not a sound,
Some lingering,
Some barely ringing,

Nothing around matters,
A spark and the glass shatters,
A wall that occluded,
Imagined danger eluded,

A barrier no more,
An open door,
To a world so free,
Only needed is a key,

To put away one that glows,
Rise you will, from the lowest of lows.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week January 1st 2023 to January 7th 2023

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Tue, 2023-01-03 05:34

We build up walls

We do this for survival. Survival mode is exhausting and eventually the walls must be broken down. This is painful as it requires a person to take a really hard honest look at themselves. It’s time to live now not merely survive.

The poem is great in meter and rhyme. Loosely structured like a sonnet but not really.

Thanks for sharing,
Tim

Dystopia

Wed, 2023-01-04 00:43