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Samhain (Halloween)

Submitted by Candlewitch on Thu, 2023-10-26 14:34

*Samhain comes round but once per year
known as Halloween to those not reared
in pagan’s tradition and proper lore

a special night dubbed All Hallow's Even
marked now by children's laughter
in costumes of ballerinas and cowboys (absurd!)

In days long past, ’twas common knowledge,
this night when the veil was thin
ghosts, ghoul’s, and the like could crossover.

the citizenry dressed as creatures of horror
to walk amongst the deadly horde
this night before All Saints Day dawned.

I find it odd and a bit sad, the changes time begets.
I am not pleased, trapped in this warped time,
taken from my constants of the old religion of earthen values.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Last few words:

*Samhain is the original Holiday on October 31st. Leaders of the Catholic Church trying to sway the Pagan population away from their ways,started a new holiday. you guessed it;"Halloween."

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Contest:

Monthly Contest Halloween

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2023-10-26 20:40

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Samhain (Halloween)" effectively utilizes the theme of Halloween and its historical roots in the pagan festival of Samhain. The juxtaposition of modern Halloween practices with the ancient traditions is a compelling narrative choice.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent meter and rhyme scheme. The first two lines, for example, have a strong rhythmic flow and an AABB rhyme scheme, but this is not maintained throughout the rest of the poem. Consistency in rhythm and rhyme can help to create a more cohesive and engaging reading experience.

The use of parentheses in the line "in costumes of ballerinas and cowboys (absurd!)" is somewhat jarring. Parentheses are not commonly used in poetry, and their use here disrupts the flow of the poem. It might be more effective to incorporate this sentiment directly into the line, perhaps by saying "in absurd costumes of ballerinas and cowboys."

The poem's ending could also be more impactful. The speaker's dissatisfaction with the modern interpretation of Halloween is clear, but the final line "taken from my constants of the old religion of earthen values" is somewhat vague. It might be more effective to end with a specific image or action that encapsulates the speaker's longing for the past.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. The speaker mentions "ghosts, ghoul’s, and the like," but does not describe these entities in any detail. Providing more concrete descriptions could help to create a more immersive and engaging reading experience.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

Thu, 2023-10-26 22:04

Samhain

Where the veil is at its thinnest and the spirit world crosses with ours! It is the Witches most celebrated holiday! Thank you for sharing your knowledge of this day. I think it would do some good for patrons to understand the origins of Halloween. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Candlewitch

Sat, 2023-10-28 11:54

dear Carrie,

thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I appreciate your thoughts :)

*love & hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Lavender

Sat, 2023-10-28 06:01

Samhain

Hello, Cat,
I knew a bit, but was not aware of much of this. You have educated me further. It is an intriguing time of year, which I hope you enjoy!
L

Candlewitch

Sat, 2023-10-28 11:58