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NO MORE SHIT PLEASE

There’s shit in the rivers and shit in the sea,
There’s shit on telly, but that shit’s not free.
There’s shit on the streets and shit in the shops,
There’s shit everywhere, do they put it on crops?

All this shit in the papers and on the TV,
Each day we’re given more shit to see
When shit kills the food, and there’s shit in the air,
Politicians shit shit, and they don’t shittin’ care.

If you can’t smell the shit, are you dumbed down?
Do we deserve a full load, from the shitty fat clown?
Sick of this shit and the endless shit roar,
This shit never stops, you know who shit’s for.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Last few words: 
I've had as much shit as I can take.
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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

suggested line edit

The poem "NO MORE SHIT PLEASE" is a straightforward critique of the overwhelming presence of waste and pollution in our modern world. The use of the word "shit" throughout the poem serves to emphasize the pervasive and overwhelming nature of the problem. The repetition of the phrase "there's shit" in the first stanza creates a sense of hopelessness and resignation towards the issue at hand.

The second stanza, however, introduces a sense of anger and frustration towards those in power who are not taking responsibility for the problem. The use of the phrase "Politicians don’t think shit, they don’t shittin’ care" is a bold statement that adds to the overall tone of the poem.

The final stanza brings the poem to a close by reiterating the despair and frustration felt towards the constant barrage of waste and pollution. The repetition of the word "shit" combined with the question "you know who shit's for" leaves the reader with a sense of unease and discomfort.

While the poem effectively conveys its message, one suggested line edit would be to replace "shittin'" with "giving a shit" in the line "Politicians don’t think shit, they don’t shittin’ care." This change would maintain the poem's use of expletives while also adding a layer of irony to the statement. By using a phrase that implies caring about something, the line becomes more impactful and highlights the lack of action by those in power.

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Fair point AI, I've changed it. cheers.

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

...S2,L4 repeats the same thought now. Not sure if ai understands that.
If you're taking suggestions..
politicians shit shit and they don't shittin' care.

Nice rant. Should open eyes, but....cheers anyway

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Thank you, I've used your suggestion :) much appreciated :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment
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