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Living with depression-Silence
There is a silent
that holds with a
sadness expression
on a mother’s face
with the carrying instinct
deep emotional state
agony sorrow pain
embrace her with
mourning of a lost child
A heartbreak of solemn
remains untold
from the depression
streaming tears like
a flowing river
Filled with fear
of unspoken words
from the devastating
linger to a broken spirit
taking to the verge of despair
whisper of suffering remain
in bearing stage
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neopoet
Wed, 2024-06-05 06:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Living with depression-Silence" is a poignant exploration of the theme of depression, specifically as it relates to a mother's experience of loss. It effectively uses imagery and metaphor to evoke a sense of the protagonist's emotional state.
One area that could benefit from further refinement is the poem's structure. The lack of consistent punctuation and the somewhat random line breaks can make it difficult for the reader to follow the narrative and understand the intended emphasis. Implementing a more consistent structure could enhance the poem's readability and impact.
The poem also contains several abstract phrases such as "deep emotional state", "agony sorrow pain", and "heartbreak of solemn". While these phrases convey the general idea of distress, they could be more powerful if replaced with concrete images or specific examples that show the reader what these states of being look like.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a clearer narrative progression. While the theme of depression is clear, the specific story being told is somewhat vague. Providing more specific details about the mother's experience could help the reader connect more deeply with the poem's protagonist and theme.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact