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I still believe!

Tear drops fall again
Dark sullen, lonely wind
When the past has called
Will I stand to lose it all?

Take no notice here!
Leave it for the universe to bare.
Past has come undone.
Look into the eyes of the sun!

Can I now deny?
Is it in my heart to defy?
Is my witness sure?
Only He can tell for sure.

Left on mercy’s door.
Only He can settle this score.
Drawn into the light.
Will He guide me home tonight!

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses a variety of poetic devices to convey a sense of emotional turmoil and spiritual questioning. The use of rhetorical questions throughout the poem helps to create a sense of internal dialogue, which adds depth to the speaker's emotional journey.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. The rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the reading. For example, the second line of the first stanza has a different rhythm than the other lines, which can be jarring for the reader.

Additionally, the poem's use of abstract language, while effective in creating a sense of mystery and uncertainty, can also make it difficult for the reader to fully grasp the speaker's emotional state. Concrete imagery could be used more effectively to convey the speaker's feelings and experiences.

Lastly, the poem's punctuation could be improved for clarity. For example, the exclamation points at the end of several lines seem to be used for emphasis, but it's not always clear what is being emphasized.

Overall, this poem has a strong emotional core and uses a variety of poetic devices effectively. With some adjustments to the rhythm, language, and punctuation, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

It was never my intention to imply any
kind of judgement on anyone other than
myself and as an individual I'm not into
structured religion. My only desire was
to illuminate to some degree, the fear,
the darkness that are in my own mind.
Please read, if you will, with that in mind.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

this poem is great! You put so much of yourself out there, I love the honesty! I fee like I have walked your path with you. I am more spiritual than religious. Religion let me down and to myself to be my own hero, as I had to save myself. your poem is so meaningful with excellence, I have a hard time choosing favorite lines but I will give you these:

Can I now deny?
Is it in my heart to defy?
Is my witness sure?
Only He can tell for sure

^hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I sincerely hope that you enjoy this day. I am grateful for
for your friendship it means a lot to me. Your comments
bring meaning to an oft times meaningless world!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

to call you "friend"!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks Cat and to you too!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment
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