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A Helping Hand
The man stands still
Hoping for a helping hand
No one offers to fill
The bright red empty can
He walks around the streets
Life filled with loneliness and grief
No one to offer a seat
No one willing to give relief
The poor man begs for money
A plea that’s hard to see
It’s a plea to some that’s funny
As the poor man takes his knee
A car passes by and stops
Asking the man his plight
And into the can a five drops
Hoping he will have a better night
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-09-13 15:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively uses imagery and narrative to evoke empathy for the man's situation. The use of the bright red can as a symbol for his need is particularly striking. However, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structure to add depth and interest.
The rhyme scheme is consistent, which lends a sense of unity to the poem. However, the rhythm is somewhat uneven, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Experimenting with different syllable counts or stress patterns could improve this.
The poem's message is clear and poignant, but it could be made more powerful with the use of more evocative language. For example, instead of saying "The poor man begs for money", a more descriptive phrase could be used to show his desperation and need.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more developed ending. The current ending is a bit abrupt and leaves the reader wanting more. Developing this further could provide a more satisfying conclusion to the poem.
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