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Green Mile Walkin'
I walk this green mile
oh this green mile I
walk.
All these things that I
have done
I have done for
naught.
My tears are finally
slowing
my heart so hard
it grows if you
say you knew
me well now you
surely know.
This green mile I'm
walking is full
of nothing but tears
and broken dreams
and it's getting
longer to me it
truly seems.
How long is your
mile that you might
walk alone? Mine is
as far as the ocean
and the wind how far
it blows.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-01-24 23:42
Excellent
Prominent literary piece! Both thematically and artistically. The poem can be considered as lofty.
This second stanza has a very strong emotional resonance. '
This green mile I'm
walking is full
of nothing but tears
and broken dreams
and it's getting
longer to me it
truly seems'
Excellent delivery!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2023-01-25 06:00
Edits
All these things that I
have done
I have done for
not. (naught)
I have to ask if this is inspired by the story or film? Usually we call it “the last mile” being on death row. The “green mile” was named after the faded lime green floor tiles in that particular cell block for inmates on death row.
Drop me a message if you wanna talk. Seems like you’re struggling a bit. No pressure, it’s an open invitation.
Tim