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golden years

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Sat, 2024-06-22 05:24

You’re prone to penning poetry;
you've sensed the simple symmetry
that's hidden from most mortal eyes
behind a dull, but deft disguise:

The beauty of a leaf or bud,
the silence of a winding wood.
The echo in your deep heart’s core
that bids you love and hate no more.

You’re sensitive, some say a seer!
With prophet’s powers and eyes that peer
into the future, dark and deep,
where some will dance and some will weep.

Your mother raised you up on rhymes,
a child, who’s tasted troubled times.
Yet, through this valley’s veil of tears,
you’ve glimpsed the dawn of golden years!

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

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Last few words:

dedicated to my poet pals

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2024-06-22 11:30

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem "golden years" effectively captures the essence of a poet who finds inspiration in the beauty of nature and the depth of their emotions. The use of rhyme and rhythm creates a flowing and engaging read. The imagery of nature and personal growth is vivid and evocative, drawing the reader into the poet's world. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened. Consider varying the rhyme scheme to add complexity and interest to the poem. Additionally, exploring more unique and unexpected metaphors could enhance the depth of the imagery. Finally, pay attention to the consistency of tone throughout the poem to ensure a cohesive emotional impact on the reader.

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tyro

Sat, 2024-06-22 16:58