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The Flash Back!

I sometimes think back to the way life was
Before I met you.

The way the sun peeked through the clouds
And the wind blew through my hair.

It was just a little bit different.
A little bit better.

I remember the way I would laugh without caring who was watching me.
I would speak without filtering my words carefully.
Fear of judgment and repercussions didn’t exist.
I was obedient and silent because you demanded it.

Little by little
You took who I was and made me into what you wanted.
Little by little
You shaped my very being.

---

I sometimes think back to the day I left you.

The way the sun peeked through the clouds
And the wind blew through my hair.

I remember feeling free for the first time in a long time.
I remember feeling so lost and confused.
What do I do now?

Little by little
I picked up every shattered piece of me.
Little by little
I rebuilt myself.

---
I remember the day that I felt whole again.
I always dreamed of going back to the way I was before.
But then I remembered...
That naïve girl fell for you and all your deceit.
She followed you like a puppy and obeyed your every command.

Never again.

Now it’s my turn to take my life and make it my own.
I am the master of my life and I will make it beautiful.

I created a mosaic out of the shattered remains of me.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

You are a brilliant creator, neither did your letter dry up, nor did its sparkle fade away
And as long as your creativity flows, your fingers beat, and your sense of class is transparent
Awesome!

Exquisite lines that house the magical feel.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

For me, is not catchy for my liking.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

Thank you so very much! I didn't really know where to go with the title. Any suggestions?

author comment

I would've caption it " The Flash Back! It's just a suggestion.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

That is much better than the original title. Thanks for the suggestion! I think I am going to use it!

author comment

Nice job!
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

If I come up with a nice one I will let you know.
Erudite ink!
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

would be for "The Way It Was".
Your language use is good
the pace is nice and steady
The theme appeals to me and I felt it strongly.
The last lines are the most important of all.
~ Geezer.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Thank you very much! That title is a good one too! I struggle to create good titles for my poems so I appreciate all feedback!

author comment

I LOVED this poem. It was so heartfelt and oddly relatable to me, great job honestly.

Thank you very much! It is bittersweet that you relate to this, but I am happy to share my experience and move someone other than myself.

author comment
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