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The First Poem of my First Book: Brushstrokes

The artist tells a story
with every peak of impasto

Conveys an emotion
with every brushstroke

Long and smooth,
An exhale
Short and fierce
A shout

And poets,
with every word they write,
paint a picture in the reader’s mind,
Unmask their feelings in every line…

So, take a breath at every stanza
Exhale every punctuation
And keep your mind wide open

These are the brushstrokes of my mind.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Hello all, this is the first poem of my first book... I am still in the editing process, but my editor will have my work completed by the end of July. At which point, I will begin the publishing process. I am looking forward to sharing my finished book with you all and would love feedback on the first poem for my book titled, "Brushstrokes". Thank you all for your inspiration, support, and critiques over the years. None of this would have been possible without you!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The First Poem of my First Book: Brushstrokes" effectively employs the metaphor of painting to express the process of writing poetry. The comparison between an artist's brushstroke and a poet's words is a compelling one, and it's used consistently throughout the poem, which strengthens the overall theme.

However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the metaphor of painting is clear, the reader might struggle to visualize the emotions or scenes the poet is trying to convey. For example, the lines "Long and smooth, An exhale / Short and fierce, A shout" are abstract and could be more powerful with concrete imagery.

The instruction to the reader in the final stanza, "So, take a breath at every stanza / Exhale every punctuation / And keep your mind wide open" could be reworked to show rather than tell. Instead of instructing the reader to keep their mind open, the poet could use imagery and language that naturally encourages the reader to engage and interpret the poem in their own way.

The line "These are the brushstrokes of my mind" is a strong ending, as it ties back to the title and the central metaphor of the poem. However, it could be made even more impactful by adding a bit more detail or specificity about what these 'brushstrokes' reveal or express about the poet's mind.

Overall, the poem has a clear and compelling central metaphor, but could be improved with more specific imagery and less direct instruction to the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

a technique used in painting, where paint is laid on an area of the surface thickly,
usually thick enough that the brush or painting-knife strokes are visible.
Paint can also be mixed right on the canvas.
When dry, impasto provides texture; the paint appears to be coming out of the canvas.

I had to go look up the meaning of impasto.
I am glad that I did, and it made the image that you are projecting very clear.
I don't think that I could have come up with a better term for describing the thought.
Very nicely done! I look forward to your book. ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

My sister is an artist, and I've learned quite a bit from her, including the term "impasto". I have her art hanging on my wall and she's painting a picture to be used as the cover for my book. She's my biggest supporter and I am hers.

Thank you so much for your kind words and I look forward to being able to share my book with you, Geezer.

author comment

I love how you intertwined artistry and poetry. I also love how you refer to your poems as the brush strokes of your mind. Very clever, well written. I wish you all the success with your first book.


I appreciate your kind words! ❤️

author comment

Hello, Kristen,
This is beautiful. So much to love about it, but mostly the shared feelings of poetry and art, in general. Best regards with your book! Such a wonderful title!
Thank you,

Very much, Lavender! While I'm no artist, I have a deep appreciation and love for art. I thought it only fair to show that through my poetry. Thank you!!

author comment
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