The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Fast pass, dancing" captures a sense of urgency and movement, as the speaker describes people rushing through shadows and escaping to their own safe havens. The imagery is vivid and draws the reader into the scene, with the dawn coming on strong and the sun passing through the sky.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could benefit from some tightening and polishing. The line "with just the time they need" feels a bit awkward and could be rephrased for greater clarity. Additionally, the final line "whispers a sad, sad song!" feels somewhat abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the poem, leaving the reader unsure of what the speaker is trying to convey.

One possible line edit could be to revise the line "with just the time they need" to something like "with only moments to spare". This would help to maintain the sense of urgency and movement established in the opening lines. Additionally, the final line could be expanded upon or reworked to provide a more satisfying conclusion to the poem. For example, the speaker might reflect on the fleeting nature of time and the bittersweet beauty of each passing day. Overall, "Fast pass, dancing" is a promising poem with some room for refinement and development.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact