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Empty punts

Bobbing in the water
sunlight glinting on their rims,
a dull thud as they collide,
but, when the water stills,
they are silent
in their loneliness.

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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem, "Empty punts." I appreciate the imagery and the sense of solitude that you convey. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Expand on the imagery: While the poem effectively captures the visual aspect of the empty punts bobbing in the water, you could further engage the reader's senses by incorporating other sensory details. Consider describing the sounds of the water, the feel of the sunlight, or the scent of the surroundings to create a more immersive experience.

2. Explore the theme of loneliness: The poem hints at the theme of loneliness, but it could be further developed to provide a deeper emotional impact. Consider delving into the reasons behind the punts' solitude or exploring the emotions associated with their stillness. This could help the reader connect more strongly with the poem's message.

3. Experiment with the structure: The poem follows a simple and straightforward structure, which works well for conveying the sense of stillness and silence. However, you might consider

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Good poem. I must admit I did not quite understand when I first read it. I looked up punts, good imagery,
I really liked it.

Thanks for your comments. I live just outside Cambridge, UK where there are lots of punts for the river. I suppose I just assumed, wrongly, that everyone knew what I was talking about.

author comment

I like the picture your poem paints. It is very nice to meet you.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks for your kind comments

author comment

Plain, simple and descriptive. Never mind AI he has no soul or grasp of the simple. Good to read and picture. Alex

Thanks for your comments

author comment

Hello, Eleri,
A beautiful sensory poem. The personification in the final lines is wonderful.
Thank you!

Thanks for your kind comments - glad you liked it

author comment

I've seen those punts; not those particular ones, but others, like in Louisianna, as the tide goes in and out of the tidal basins.
They do look lonely. ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks for your comments. They aways looked lonely to me - almost bereft.

author comment
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