I don't know you. When the switch gets hit. Is it a switch? Like most characterizations about and around you it probably falls far short. Of doing its basic job. Describing what, for you, may not even be a thing. Falling short is something you have to find boring by now. All these people throughout you. Falling short. I imagine for many of them you would have preferred falling like that was all they had done. Only being let down is getting off easy sometimes isn’t it? I know about that. I’m not here to reanimate the dead. These dead sometimes seem to have more life than we do. All of us. I’m not going to let my bag of sand leak in these wasteful places in untoward ways. I’m not going to let yours leak either.

I don’t know you. I know you like to scare people and you’re good at it but not in the way you think. I know you used to think there’s no such thing as too strong a cup of coffee. I know you love salt too much. I know why you used to love scary roller coasters but don’t now. I know you want people to be happy. Very nearly all the people. I know you’ve lost part of yourself to your life and try sometimes not to resent. I know you’re a damn good mother and if part of you suffers for it there’s no perceptible hesitation as you leap to sacrifice this that the other and any for your kids. I know you’re not as confident as you seem. I know you’re not sure about what’s next and when you have a moment to breathe and think, sometimes it scares you. I know your life punishes weakness. I know sometimes you think you see it and without knowing punish it too. I know you adore the written word. 300 words in to this diatribe? Plea? Love letter? I know you’re still not sure how it will end but you hope it’s sweet. I know you don’t believe I counted the words. I know the feeling your body has in my arms when you’ve given in and the tension before you explode. Before we both do. I know you have no idea what you’ve got inside. The beauty fused with brilliant strength and what it can do. I know trusting is a trap for you. I know you’ll learn before long that it isn’t now. I know I’m not like what you’ve known. I know you’ve got a smile for every snowflake in a blizzard. I know you’re what I think of when I hear “beautiful woman.” I know what you want. I know what you love. I know it’s going to be hard. I know we can. I know I’ve never opened myself up to anyone like this. I know I love you. I know you scare me. I know you’re going to have to put your head on my chest and close your eyes and hold your breath and honest to god let go sometimes. I know the way forward. Almost always. I know I know I know this is love.

Do I know you?