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The Devil You'll Find

Submitted by Indivisible_Origin on Mon, 2023-04-17 19:58

The devil, you’ll find
Is really quite kind
charming and
handsome to boot
Irreverence is his
A blessing he’ll give
When you find yourself
Filling his shoes
Be dismayed or deplore him
You cannot ignore him
In the moments
That might have been yours
He'll turn to the choir
When there's no one in the pews
Pious legs too spent from spreading
Can't remember how to choose

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Tue, 2023-04-18 08:56

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The poem moved right along - in content, meaning, theme and structure until that last quatrain. Then meter and pace were disrupted. Was this intentional? i can tell the words chosen in those last lines are very important to defining the meaning of the poem. I got a bit lost, though. I'm very intrigued.
L

Geezer

Tue, 2023-04-18 10:03

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I understand those lines being very central to defining the piece, but you need to make them a part of the poem's flow in order
to make it smooth. As it stands, I cannot see how to help the lines make sense and keep the cadence. I think you must choose to either drop a line or write another couple in order to help all of them mesh.
~ Geezer.
.

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