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This Country

Submitted by Ruby Lord on Tue, 2023-03-21 15:05

There’s a sickness in this country, infecting all around,
There’s a storm in this country above the shaking ground,
All empathy has flown the nest, no longer holds us down
Depression and inflation, with the death of good renown

There’s great cost to this country, a lost humanity
There’s great loss in this country, we drown migrants in the sea
There’s an evil in this world, the evil of advice
Always the wrong sort, meaningless, and we pay a heavy price

There’s a hunger in this country, for honest and fair play
There’s a hunger in this country, three meals a day
The excuses in this country, we hear them all the time
Along with lies and hatred, to deliver us more crime

There’s a greed in this country, from those in highest post,
There’s a greed in this country, as those with less lose most,
And with no choice but live and die, remember party gate,
Cheap bars, and cheaper lunches, with their lies they feed us, hate.

There are vultures in this land, no disrespect to birds,
The vultures soar and swoop, while spouting untrue words,
The blaggards in this country, they lie as soon as speak,
And we the people hear it, every day of every week.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
As I've said in my profile, I am angry, mainly with current Govt. If you're a conservative, this isn't the poem for you.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Contest: 
New Member Contest March 2023
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Alex Tanner

Tue, 2023-03-21 15:30

Alex Tanner's picture

Hello Ruby. A thought provoking piece of work. I can't say it is to be enjoyed because I don't think that is what you are trying to achieve. Much I would agree with, some I would disagree with. I don't think it's just Tories who would not like it, the other crowd are no better as we shall find out when they get in next time round. Alex.

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-03-27 05:41

Ruby Lord's picture

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate you taking the time to read my work and sending me a reply. As you said, other politicians may not like it but if I feel the despair, imagine how many people out there are feeling it? I'm not always angry and miserable but I am more so these days which is sad. I'll try to write something happier but I find it hard not to be honest about the way I feel :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2023-03-21 15:44

Geezer's picture
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an anger with all governments these days. For my part, I have the suggestion that any country, should make all candidates
independent, and we should vote for them as individuals to do the people's will. If in fact, they do not provide the kind of leadership that we want, we vote them out! Simple, after a couple of rounds of said arrangement, they will come to the realization that they are the servants of the people and do as we want. Your work is full of good rhyme and is well expressed.
The pace is furious and the lines sharp. Good work! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-03-27 05:48

Ruby Lord's picture

Thank you Geezer, I really appreciate your comments and this morning when I managed to log on to the site I was surprised to read yours and other peoples comments.

I like the idea of independent candidates, but we all know wolves hunt in packs. I'm pretty cynical about our political system and I would like to see serious changes made to the way parliament works. Perhaps with Starmer and Gordon Browns ideas on a develoved house of lords, the change will come, even if it is slowly.

Your comment on my rhyming made my day, thank you so much, it is always good to hear I've managed to achieve this aspect in my poetry. And you mentioned pace, fabulous comments, you made this angry woman a little more mellow today :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-03-27 05:56

Ruby Lord's picture

Thank you so much for reading my poem and making a comment. I really appreciate the time you have taken to send me a reply.

Your comments are invaluable, in raisng my spirits and cooling my rage. :) Thank you so much.

I hope to publish more in the future but I'm finding it hard to move away from my political view so a lot of my work is aimed at what I see as injustices currently being carried out.

Thank you again, I hope to chat with you more in the future x

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

Obadiah Grey

Wed, 2023-03-22 13:15

Obadiah Grey's picture
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We the pixies clench our buttocks !!

Obi.

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-03-27 05:58

Ruby Lord's picture

Thank you Obi, for your comment. No, we can't be pixies, we have to be giants :)
You did make me smile though, much appreciated, xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment

Obadiah Grey

Mon, 2023-03-27 13:26

Obadiah Grey's picture
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We the pixies clench our buttocks.....

There is tell of a foetid, rancid, hellish hole
deeeeep in the wild wood,

Only visible by half light - once every leap year,
where thick knobbed hairy arsed gnomes
plot the buggering of slim hipped
virginal pixies.

They sit cross legged on woolsacks-
knitting condom shaped thorny policies
for the inevitable insertion,

The thickest of knob and hairiest of arse
get to chew upon the sweetmeat
of the mythical proletariat in perpetuity
as a stipend for their buggery,,,

or so the tale goes...

Obi.

---------------------------------

I'm a fully paid up card carrying member of the Labour Party,
though, they all piss in the same pot as the tories !

You are obviously an accomplished writer, I herby doff my cap, Ruby.

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-03-27 13:50

Ruby Lord's picture

Oh I loved that, fabulous.

I've just looked at your page and you speak my language. Northern, maybe Yorkshire if you're doffing your cap?

I will be reading some of your poetry next, it looked very appealing and accesible to me. I'm a Lancashire lass for my sins :)

I was a Labour member but haven't renewed my membership yet.

Many thanks for your kind comments, Ruby :) x

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

author comment
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