The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses narrative and vivid imagery to tell a story, creating a strong sense of drama and tension throughout. However, there are areas that could be improved to enhance clarity and impact.

Firstly, the poem's rhythm and meter could be more consistent. The lines vary significantly in length, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult to read. Consider revising the poem to create a more consistent rhythm, which can enhance the musicality and overall impact of the piece.

Secondly, the poem's language can be quite dense and complex, which may make it difficult for some readers to understand. The use of less common words and phrases, such as "lothario" and "tincture to make him obedient", can add depth and richness to the poem, but they can also create barriers for readers. Consider simplifying some of the language to make the poem more accessible.

Finally, the poem's narrative can be a bit confusing at times. It's not always clear who is speaking or what is happening, which can make it difficult for readers to follow the story. Consider adding more narrative cues to help guide readers through the poem.

In conclusion, this poem has a strong narrative and vivid imagery, but could benefit from a more consistent rhythm, simpler language, and clearer narrative cues.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I really like the premise of this poem, as in the past; I have met many a snake. I love your simple language usage which describes the situation. your landscaping is good and supports the base. I do think, overall this is a bit rough and could use some thought and rework.but on the whole, it is a captivating piece. it provokes thoughts and questions. it stands on its own.

*hugs & love, Cat

it could be used as a vignette, a part of a larger story, that would describe how a woman winds up in prison. However, it is far too detailed, [according to the examples and descriptions I have read.] Personally, I like the whole thing, as it contains the plot
before its implementation. If you really would like to create a vignette, I suggest that you remove a lot of the dialog between the mother and daughter; include just the bare bones of it. This is the first time that I have vigorously explored the term vignette, although I claim to have written one. [Where's The Beef?]. I'm more inclined to think that it is a small play now. Anyway, I would explore the idea more fully, if I were you. Nice stuff, but I have no idea how to improve it other than using less dialog. ~ Geez.
.

And there was I about to propose to ya !
well,,,, not now missus !!!!!! bugger that.

Loved it, Ruby. Riveting from start to finish.

Obi.

Hello, Ruby,
Though nothing like it in nature or theme, this poem reminds me of Casabianca (The Boy Stood On The Burning Deck) by Felicia Hemans. There is a narrative story here, along with dialogue from the actual subject of the poem. As I said, not similar in nature or theme at all, but there is a very dramatic feel to it. I like the tension that builds from both bride and mother, and the dark, mysterious plot at the end. The meter may be tightened up a bit by removing an unnecessary word here and there, but the rhyme is great and keeps the reader captivated. Overall, I like the theme and language, and the dark feel of this poem.
Thank you!
L

... rich in detail, metaphor, story telling, potential disaster for all. It made me laugh. I agree with most of the comments here. When I read it, I was still left with questions: is it a finished poem, could it be trimmed a little more, how do the words fit in the line, the dialogue is maybe too extensive but very funny,

Too many changes, and would it lose it's glorious, wicked story telling ability?

For me, it's almost a short story, an internal dialogue before a larger manuscript.

The wedding from hell: good work!

You are fantastic.

I love the entire story behind the poem! I like how the mother tries to save her daughter but her daughter has had it under control the whole time. The dark undertones and language are really good. Lots of imagery as I can see the mother pointing her finger at the future son in law and I can hear her words as if I was really there. Great job!