The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: Carnal Torrent

In this poem, the subject matter revolves around seduction, intimacy, and the consequences of a fleeting encounter. The poem uses vivid imagery and metaphors to convey the intensity of the experience and the potential aftermath.

1. Imagery and Metaphors: The poem employs strong and evocative imagery throughout, such as "cloud bursts," "steel striking spear," and "hammered home sword." These metaphors effectively convey the intensity of the encounter and the potential consequences. However, some of the imagery might be considered overly explicit or graphic for certain readers. It would be beneficial to consider the target audience and whether the poem's imagery aligns with their sensibilities.

2. Structure and Pacing: The poem follows a consistent structure of four quatrains with an AABB rhyme scheme. This structure works well to create a sense of cohesion and flow. However, the pacing of the poem could be improved by refining the rhythm and meter. For example, the line "The seconds so quick, now a fact, a record" feels somewhat disjointed and could be reworked to better fit the overall rhythm of the poem.

3. Theme and Message: The poem explores themes of seduction, intimacy, and the consequences of a fleeting encounter. The message seems to be a commentary on the potential consequences of such encounters, as seen in the lines "A fatherless child, in history not rare." To strengthen the poem's message, it might be helpful to further develop the emotional impact of the situation on the characters involved. This could be achieved by incorporating more introspective or reflective moments within the poem.

Overall, this poem effectively uses vivid imagery and metaphors to convey the intensity of a fleeting encounter and its potential consequences. By refining the rhythm and meter, considering the target audience, and further developing the emotional impact of the situation, the poem could be strengthened and its message more effectively communicated.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Initial thoughts are,
Bravo for the third person perspective.
Whenever you can further distance yourself from a piece / write in this manner
it becomes less personal and more accessible to others.

(Bad bits coming Ruby,,,,,
gird yer loins luv !!!!)

Your quest for perfect rhyme spoils it just a little.

Obi.

Ruby! What a nice surprise. Your title drew me in! It seems quite apt.
The word choices were very good, you made it clear what the theme was about
without being degrading or profane. I think that your metaphors were spot on
and sharp. I can't say that I like the theme, but the only reason, is that it is oh so true!
The rhyme was very well done, and I saw that it was thought out well.
This one started well and ran smoothly until the end. Good job. ~ Geez.
.