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Blue Oyster Cult

Submitted by Leslie on Thu, 2024-02-01 07:38

Janey was frightened! as well, she should be
by the haunting events on her neighborhood streets
The jackals were back and at it again
looking for strays in the dark whistling wind

the blue hooded men with tunics appeared
covered with signs of astrological zeal
they’d come for a taste of blue oysters at midnight
looking through telescopes and glancing at tarot cards
revealing their destiny through tomes of dark magic

but cold apparitions of death had appeared
with a howl that cried out, Joan Crawford is near

Jen lay there crying in the pale moonlight
An unlikely witness
to what had happened that night!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Thu, 2024-02-01 13:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Blue Oyster Cult" demonstrates a strong narrative and a vivid use of imagery. The narrative is clear and engaging, effectively pulling the reader into the story of Janey and the mysterious events unfolding around her. The use of imagery, such as "the blue hooded men with tunics appeared" and "cold apparitions of death had appeared with a howl," paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind and enhances the overall atmosphere of the poem.

However, there are a few areas that could benefit from further refinement. The rhythm of the poem seems inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent rhythm, either through the use of a set meter or through more careful control of line length.

Additionally, while the use of specific references, such as "Joan Crawford is near," can add depth to a poem, they can also potentially confuse readers who are not familiar with these references. Consider whether these references are necessary for the overall message and narrative of the poem, and if not, whether they could be replaced with more universally understood imagery.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more thorough exploration of its central themes. The poem seems to be dealing with themes of fear, mystery, and the supernatural, but these themes could be explored in more depth. Consider adding more lines or stanzas that delve deeper into these themes, to give the poem more emotional weight and complexity.

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