Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
She Needs A hug Right Now
She Needs A Hug Right now
She's thinking somber thoughts again
I can see the worry furrows
Her mouth is tightened to a frown
She says; "I'm worried don't you know"
I kiss her brow so tenderly
She must feel it matters
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
scribbler
Fri, 2010-11-12 19:54
hug
This is the second good short poem I've read tonight. On a side note you forgot to close your quotation marks.......scribbler
Geezer
Sun, 2010-11-14 01:19
Good short poem...
Thanks, I needed that. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Fri, 2010-11-12 23:44
Gee
All I can say is this an incredibly moving poem
Lou xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Geezer
Sun, 2010-11-14 01:24
Moving poem...
Thank you lou, I felt an intense emotion in the writing of this. I wanted to make it something that everyone could relate to. i'm sure that anyone that has felt compassion for a loved one, in their time of need, has felt like this. ~ Gee xx
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
judyanne
Sat, 2010-11-13 02:43
short and sweet
and to the point - lovely gee
i think the last line is beautiful
love judy
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Geezer
Sun, 2010-11-14 01:36
Short...
Intense emotion doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing, I am so glad that this has gotten the response that it has. I wasn't entirely sure that I had hit the mark. This was written in response to the one that Pugilist had posted. And it is of a personal experience ! So many times we fail to recognise the hurt of others, and respond to it. I am so glad that you liked it! Love ya too, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2010-11-14 09:32
Such a good man you are Sir Gee
I see it in your words,
so delicately placed to grace our page
with love and style,
well done my Knight,
a worthy pensive poem from you,
we love you one and all.
Ann in the mist.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Geezer
Mon, 2010-11-15 05:12
How gracious...
my Queen, for you to bless me with your words of honor. I always look forward to your comments. I truly believe that we should be aware of the power we hold in our hearts. We should never hold back the things we feel will soothe the troubles of another.
Thank you, ~ Sir Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
mand
Sun, 2010-11-14 12:52
Wonderful
It beckoned to be read because of the title. This a lovely sweet poem - sometimes we just need a hug!
Thank you for sharing and caring.
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx
Geezer
Mon, 2010-11-15 05:21
I have often...
been ridiculed by some who think that my expressions of caring, betrays my manhood. But there are others that I know are somewhat jealous of the empathy that I show, and have softened their temperment, to express themselves more fully without fear of emasculation. ~ Geezer xxxxxxxxxx
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Wed, 2010-11-17 00:22
It would be my wish...
that ALL women would feel safe! Unfortunately, there aren't enough men who would be man enough. Thank you, I appreciate being seen as one who is. Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Tue, 2010-11-30 09:30
That is one...
of the best compliments I could hope for. I wonder about my trying new things, and how they will be recieved. This one was easy to write. I just took it from my life, and when it was done, I knew it it was good. [Not meaning to sound egotisical.] The biggest challenge was trying to meet the criteria for Pugilist's workshop. I'm still not sure that I did, but I really like it anyways. Love ya, with higgest bugs, ~ Guy
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Kailashana2
Sat, 2010-11-27 07:08
Sir Gee, I think thou wouldst
Sir Gee, I think thou wouldst throw thine cape o'er yonder puddle. Just to know that. Sigh. Chivalry is an art of great magnitude from a great heart..
Lovely delicate poem. Thank you.
~A
Geezer
Tue, 2010-11-30 09:54
Chivalry is...
an art that must be practiced. I know that your man must be of the sort that practices it daily. For a woman to know what chivalry is, she must have frequent contact with it. It is far too easy to fall into the habit of saying that " she knows I love her", and let it go at that. What is the laundering of said cape, next to the thought that you are wanted and needed? love ya, ~ Sir Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Xavier Sleuth
Tue, 2021-07-27 14:03
Made me think-
Of Thal.
But this dude's too awkward to give hugs.
Guilty as charged.
Great poem.
-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____
Geezer
Tue, 2021-07-27 16:08
Damn...
Does she know? ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Xavier Sleuth
Tue, 2021-07-27 17:49
Heh, lost me . . .
Know what?
-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____
Geezer
Tue, 2021-07-27 22:06
How much...
you care about her? Giving hugs when someone needs them, shouldn't be passed up, no matter how awkward you are. And it gets easier every time. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Xavier Sleuth
Wed, 2021-07-28 11:14
Ehh, well you see
I'm not too good at saying "Here's how I feel about you!"
So, no, I suppose she doesn't know.
Though she's pretty emotion-smart
So she probably does . . .
Not sure?
Thanks for the tip.
-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____
Geezer
Wed, 2021-07-28 11:39
Wish we had...
emoticons, or something to give you two thumbs up. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.