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THE CLOCK EATER
The Clock Eater loves the taste of fine time
Sauteed in juicy New York minutes and served
With seconds spiced with instants and moments.
He’s a founding member of the clean Plate Club.
The Clock Eater does not wear a watch.
To him there is only this moment in time,
Like a freshly baked roll it’s aromatic
Impatiently waiting to be devoured.
The Clock eater doesn’t often share
The banquet that is on his plate,
Perhaps a nibble now and then
To ease the other diner’s wait.
ljm
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Sat, 2022-11-12 06:46
The poem
Is poetically or ironically clothed in metaphors. There's more to it than meets the eye.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Sat, 2022-11-12 11:19
Some pieces beg...
for at least a little punctuation
I see this one as one of those.
It also needs the continuance of thought
rather than each line being a statement.
Continuance of thought can be fixed
by the use of lower-case letters, in the next line
rather than capitalizing each and every line.
The use of commas showing pauses in certain lines, can be most effective.
This the way that I would write this piece:
The Clock Eater loves the taste of fine time
Sauteed in juicy New York minutes, and served
with seconds, spiced with instants and moments
He's a founding member of the Clean Plate Club
The Clock Eater does not wear a watch
To him, there is only this moment in time
Like a freshly baked roll, it's aromatic
impatiently waiting to be devoured
The Clock Eater doesn't often share
the banquet that is on his plate
Perhaps a nibble now and then
to ease the other diner's wait
Of course, I may be putting the emphasis in the wrong places
so, it is up to you to determine how to arrange it.
I like the theme; the thoughts are certainly provoking!
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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RoseBlack
Sat, 2022-11-12 13:52
Time
Is certainly precious and goes quickly if we look away for just a second. Sounds like the Clock Eater enjoys living in the moment and savoring every second. Great write!
~RoseBlack~