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SINS of the FLESH
I so love your skin's feel
beneath my old rough fingers
e'en after a caress I steal
the memory still lingers
As touch moves on to gentle cleft
I'm filled with anticipation
of patience I am now bereft
please fill my expectation
And as each little roundish nub
also begs for attention
calling out for a light rub
and a poem's lyric mention
Just the sight of your soft curves
fills me with such delight
and never ever fails to serve
to enrich my appetite
The taste of you upon my lips
is beyond most others' reaches
and now my secret finally slips
I sure love eating peaches
Another oldie from old site...........scribbler
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Mon, 2011-02-21 20:38
sins
thanks for coming by and leaving an optional version. i am always editing my stuff and will keep your ideas in mind when I edit this................scribbler
scribbler
Mon, 2011-02-21 20:40
sins
the only cereal I kill is a bowl of corn flakes lol.I'm glad you liked this.............stan
Kailashana2
Mon, 2011-02-21 16:07
You'll go to hell for this!
You'll go to hell for this!
;-)
~A
scribbler
Mon, 2011-02-21 20:42
What ????
For writing about fruit? lmao...........................stan
loved
Mon, 2011-02-21 21:47
i steal many a heart
you many a soul
and keep most of us guessing
what's coming up next?
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2011-02-22 13:18
hi
Beware scribbler Stealer of souls lol. thanks for coming by................scribbler
loved
Tue, 2011-02-22 16:09
Hi
once in a way
i come by
at other times
I'm shy
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2011-02-22 13:21
hello Jayne
I'm going to post some stuff from old site on occasion, so you'll see familiar writes once in a while. Think I will delete comma...........stan
raj
Tue, 2011-02-22 13:32
Dear Stan
for me this was a virgin read and having read this one..i can safely say that this one is from a thorough bred romantic ....cleverly written...titillating the mind without being gross....
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Tue, 2011-02-22 18:50
sins
There is a lot of difference between erotic and pornographic. I'm glad you like this..................stan
lou
Tue, 2011-02-22 14:24
Fruity
another peach
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
scribbler
Tue, 2011-02-22 18:51
hello lou
thank you.............stan
Mark
Wed, 2024-05-01 17:58
You Fresh Fruit Cake LMAO
Remove the last line reference you silly. Fools like me don't need to know. Do you really believe the sense words belong in a poem because there are two schools of thought on that. One is yes and one is no. I myself like the challenge of showing the senses but with rhyme and meter it is quite a challenge.
Loved this work,
Mark
Mark
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Read/Comment it's a win win
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