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Repairs...
Alone...They are alone...
Drawn together they will heal
Hearts alive within the stone
Beat beneath the steel
Nights of yearning, be together
Days, of learning be as one
No matter what the weather
Have awesome times of fun
Hurt yourself no more
Do them the very same
Call it even score
Cancel out the game
Forgiveness is forgetting,
even for a day
For each one that is forgotten
make new remembered ways
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Seren
Sat, 2014-06-14 18:13
Smile
Higgliest bugs xxxx
Love Jayne...
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Geezer
Sun, 2014-06-15 06:20
Thanks...
smiling right back at you! Higgest bugs, love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lenny of Cohen
Sat, 2014-06-14 21:11
Enjoyed
this well paced and well constructed piece of writing.
_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent
Wei Wu Wei
Geezer
Sun, 2014-06-15 06:23
Glad you enjoyed...
this was written for some friends that are having some very difficult times. I hope that no matter what happens they find some peace and happiness. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.