Within the morning’s glance you lie
Beside me in restful compose
While peeking through the bathroom window
Steeply angled, refractory light beams
Come darting through the door left slightly ajar
Exhausted from their journey of ninety-three million miles
Transient photons illuminate your supple form
My eyes are blessed by this sight as are my fingers
Who endlessly caress your outer thigh
Tirelessly chasing their own shadows
Leaving smooth tiny wakes on an ocean of creamy silk

Maybe
someday you will come around
to thaw whats frozen
since you left
I sow tears
in the white land
to reap your smile
warm like sunshine
but icicles grew colder
each and every day...
I wrapped myself
with the freezing wind
to reach across
the blanket of snow
to find you in autumn
with a hint of cinnamon
between fiery leaves
or to look in summer
with glaring skies
dappled in gold
still no hint of you
I turned back then
with ragged steps

Soft fluffy pillows that float way up high,
To hide a sun that sits up in the sky,
A plethora of shapes loom deceptive,
Over inquiring minds so receptive.

Molded people in a strange kind of way,
Or mystical bunnies that could hop away,
And oddly the mind stops to note,
Synchronised clouds starting to float.

And then, in a blink of an eye,
These clouds all started to cry,
Lost their magic, as if just a dream,
Then comes thunder, and I can't help but scream.

Tired of body or tired of mind
Stay overworked or bored as hell
Sitting still means my thoughts accost me
Self doubt and loathing I know too well

Work as an outlet, I cannot sit still
Things need perfecting but I never will
A bottomless hole I can never fill
Loneliness pervades everything still

My own abuser, I keep coming back
Always there’s something to pull me off track
Habits developed from trauma way back
Patterns of anger and panic attacks