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War Within Myself

Deep within our mind and soul
Our failures so often take its toll

The battles we face we can’t ignore
The war within us continues to roar

Our deepest faults are always there
That hurt our loved ones who care

The inner war is always here
A fight we too often fear

Peace is what we really crave
A chance to prove we are brave

Each day we renew our resolve
A chance to enable us to evolve

The difference between war and peace
Is the resolve we have our sins to cease

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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "War Within Myself" presents a clear theme of internal struggle and the desire for peace and evolution. The use of war as a metaphor for internal conflict is effective and relatable, as many people experience these types of battles within themselves.

However, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of language and imagery. The repeated use of the words "war," "resolve," and "peace" may limit the emotional depth and complexity of the poem. Experimenting with different words and metaphors could help to convey the same ideas in a more nuanced and engaging way.

The poem also tends to tell the reader what is happening, rather than showing it through concrete images, sensory details, and specific examples. For instance, instead of stating "Our deepest faults are always there," the poem could describe a specific fault and how it manifests in the speaker's behavior or thoughts. This would make the poem more vivid and engaging, and help the reader to connect more deeply with the speaker's experiences.

The rhythm and rhyme scheme of the poem are generally consistent, which gives the poem a steady, predictable flow. However, the poem could benefit from some variation in rhythm or rhyme to create emphasis or surprise, and to reflect the tumultuous nature of the internal war that the speaker is describing.

Lastly, the poem's message about the power of resolve and the desire for peace is clear and compelling. However, the final line, "Is the resolve we have our sins to cease," is somewhat unclear. It may be beneficial to revise this line for clarity and to ensure that it effectively conveys the poem's intended message.

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This is a poem to credit your artistry! I like it very much, especially these lines:

Each day we renew our resolve
A chance to enable us to evolve

Good Luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you Cat for reading and comments. Just thinking!

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