Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Untitled

Submitted by The Eccentric poet on Fri, 2023-07-07 21:30

It seems I'm incapable of dying or living,
Fought the lies, now back at the beginning.
In pain in the present, head stuck in the past,
Still endlessly hoping the torment will not last.

Sleepless nights follow lonesome, empty days
still trying to stand by the promises we made.
I miss you, but wonder if we are still the same,
Words so full of hate, battles so full of blame.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
Just something I put together when I couldn't sleep
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-07-08 03:30

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem. I appreciate the introspective tone and the exploration of themes related to struggle, pain, and hope. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Structure and Flow: Consider organizing your poem into stanzas to enhance the flow and readability. Stanzas can help create a sense of rhythm and structure within the poem.

2. Imagery and Descriptions: Try incorporating vivid imagery and descriptive language to engage the reader's senses and create a more immersive experience. This can help evoke emotions and enhance the impact of your words.

3. Clarity and Specificity: While the poem conveys a sense of inner conflict and emotional turmoil, it would benefit from more specific details and concrete imagery. This can help the reader connect more deeply with your experiences and emotions.

4. Consistency in Tone: Pay attention to the consistency of the tone throughout the poem. Some lines have a more reflective and contemplative tone, while others have a more accusatory or regretful

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.