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There Was A Time
I remembered tales of joy and sorrow
Heard by us who seek knowledge,
In the depths of its hallowed hall.
The stories quiet-spoken,
Of kings and queens,
Of wizards and warriors,
Of lovers and dreamers,
A way to escape,
If only for a while,
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2024-07-07 22:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem demonstrates a good use of imagery and evokes a sense of nostalgia and longing. However, there are areas where it could be improved to enhance its overall impact.
1. Consistency in Tense: The poem starts in the past tense "I remembered tales" but then shifts to the present tense "Heard by us who seek knowledge". This inconsistency can be confusing for the reader. It would be beneficial to maintain a consistent tense throughout the poem.
2. Punctuation: The poem lacks punctuation, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow and understand. For instance, the line "Heard by us who seek knowledge" could be interpreted in multiple ways depending on where a comma or period is placed.
3. Show, Don't Tell: The poem tells the reader about "tales of joy and sorrow" and "stories quiet-spoken", but it doesn't show these elements. Incorporating specific examples or imagery related to these tales and stories could make the poem more engaging and vivid.
4. Rhythm and Meter: The poem doesn't seem to follow a consistent rhythm or meter. While free verse poetry doesn't need to follow strict rules of rhythm and meter, having some consistency can make the poem more pleasing to read.
5. Theme Development: The poem introduces several themes - tales, knowledge, escape - but doesn't fully develop any of them. Expanding on one or more of these themes could give the poem more depth and make it more engaging for the reader.
In conclusion, while the poem has potential, it would benefit from more attention to detail in terms of tense, punctuation, imagery, rhythm, and theme development.
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Rula
Sun, 2024-07-07 16:27
Totally agree
Can easily relate to every word.
Beautiful!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Clentin
Sun, 2024-07-07 16:38
Thank you, just my thoughts
Thank you, just my thoughts for the day
Words Ablaze
Mon, 2024-07-08 06:25
Short and powerful, touching
Short and powerful, touching but the surface leaving the rest for the imagination. Beautiful.
The last 2 lines are a fine little bow on top. Matter of fact they the conner stone according to me. I understood the poem once I got to them, how it's all a yearning for reprieve
Clentin
Mon, 2024-07-08 06:53
Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and comments. I appreciate it very much
Lavender
Tue, 2024-07-09 12:56
There Was A Time
Hello, Clentin,
Magical. It reminds me of why I dearly love "The Lord of the Rings" series. We need that, if only for a while.
Thank you!
L
Clentin
Tue, 2024-07-09 13:09
Thank you. Just a thought
Thank you. Just a thought while at the beach
I appreciate your reading and comments