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Talk Talk
You are a huge O mouth
Open and yawning like a sink hole
Yelling absurd answers to simple questions
Your breath a cloud of steam
That freezes in the night air
To those who talk but never think
An exhausting O mouth eating oxygen
Eating and eating
Emitting opinions
The tongue in perpetual motion
The jawbone still chattering
Your mouth can run marathons
Silenced into a stupor
I sit here and say nothing
Pretending to listen
Style / type:
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Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2024-02-22 13:30
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Talk Talk" effectively uses imagery and metaphors to convey the speaker's frustration with a person who talks excessively without thinking. However, the poem could benefit from a more structured rhythm to enhance the flow of the poem. The use of enjambment, where one line runs into the next without a grammatical break, could be employed more consistently to create a more fluid reading experience.
The metaphor of the "O mouth" is intriguing, but it might be more impactful if it were developed further or tied more closely to the theme of the poem. The connection between the "O mouth" and the person who talks without thinking could be made clearer.
The poem could also benefit from more varied language. The repetition of the word "eating" in the line "Eating and eating" could be replaced with a synonym or a more descriptive phrase to avoid redundancy and add depth to the imagery.
The final lines of the poem, where the speaker reveals their own silence, are powerful. However, the transition to this revelation could be smoother. The abrupt shift from the description of the talkative person to the speaker's own actions might be jarring for some readers. A transitional phrase or line could help to guide readers through this shift in perspective.
In terms of the poem's overall structure, it might be beneficial to consider using stanzas to separate and emphasize different ideas or images. This could help to guide the reader through the poem and make the progression of ideas clearer.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
Thu, 2024-02-22 08:07
Dear Sen,
I could have written this poem about my oldest sister... every word of it! very descriptive write!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Sen99
Thu, 2024-02-22 17:50
Thank You Cat
maybe you could send her my poem, or read it to her ? see if she gets it
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2024-02-22 18:14
Alas...
She passed from this world. But I think she would have brushed it aside. I tried reasoning with her for years. I finally gave up because she focused her anger at me and my husband. Her husband was one of my best friends and he agreed with my point of view. She finally drove him out of the house into a apartment. He was much happier there. I loved this poem, such wisdom!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Sen99
Thu, 2024-02-22 19:20
Sorry to hear that
RIP
I have no siblings, i don't know if writing such a poem helps
author commentRoseBlack
Fri, 2024-02-23 07:48
I know a few
Who fit this poem to a tee. I am not sure what an O mouth is so maybe like AI said could be made clearer. I like the meaning behind this and the overall write. Good job.
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Fri, 2024-02-23 10:08
I understand...
the O mouth. I'm sure that if you were as big a cartoon fan as I, [both paper and film], you would too.
It very usually depicts a person with a siren-like mouth where the sound comes out loud and overpowering;
not meaning anything, just a lot of noise. Actually, the first part [nine lines], is a very good description of the O mouth.
Well done. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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RoseBlack
Fri, 2024-02-23 10:13
Now I get it
And most definitely know some folks who fit this description. When they talk I often hear the Charlie Brown teacher...wah wah wah wah lol
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Fri, 2024-02-23 10:32
OOOOOooooooooo...
YES!
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Sen99
Fri, 2024-02-23 15:05
O O Thank You Rose
A large O mouth is what i imagined a sinkhole to look like
Just the shape of the O, a windbag or something like that
We have all know such people
author commentSen99
Fri, 2024-02-23 15:09
Yo Ho Geeza Thanks
Any large orifice emiting oxygen, loud opinions and verbal noise is like an O mouth correct.
People who eat with their mouth open and talk at same time, is of high annoyance to me.
Thanks for your interest and comments.
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