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scour the rain

Submitted by Esker on Mon, 2016-09-26 15:21

craving excitement and
chosing clothes
guessing what they like to know
to see the scene
dream of the been
a drink in hand
the musics throb
club scene clan
A and B to make the Plan

make up mascara
glitter band
a toot or two to
stake the stand

shimmy shake
and shiver
taking over
the pot to simmer
meld and thresh
a mill that delivers

outside for a plot
to make
the cabbie jockeys
home to sate
the fleshy treasures
dominance submission
break all measures
ice queen obsession

riding through hot lust
till dawn
taking turns
being Satans pawn
walking home
through sprinklers
lawn
giving gawkers
a stretch
and satisfied
Yawn!

..

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sommer Lyn

Mon, 2016-09-26 20:44

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Reading this made me feel like I was being taken on a wild night out, the flashes of imagery not unlike snippets of memories left after the chemical tides go out. Fast-paced, and good writing.

lovedly

Mon, 2016-09-26 21:38

lovedly's picture

a first night prom
for teenage gals
lovely says Lovedly

do read my comment on Joe's for you

lovedly

Mon, 2016-09-26 22:11

lovedly's picture

CREONS DREAM Robert Adamson
BEAUTIFUL I READ IT
DO CONGRATULATE HIM

valene

Tue, 2016-09-27 13:26

A good time was had and you've described it well. Being an artist, you have the ability not only to put pictures on canvas but also paint images in my mind.

Gotta primp, 'tis time to go out
Make sure every part's lookin' right
Before heading out for what could be
One hell of a party night

Hit the club at just the right time
Become a part of the scene
Drinking, dancing showing off moves
Making sure she's gonna be seen

Once being noticed, time to move on
It's all apart of the game
Taking a break going outside
She's caught up in more of the same

A guy's laying in wait for the right gem
He sees she's in need of a ride
And offers to drive her safely home
Looking forward to getting inside

When the night ends he moves on
Leaving her there asleep
He's feeling good about what a occurred
She's now one of his flock of sheep

Esker

Wed, 2016-09-28 12:04

Esker's picture

we came from a stock that worked trades of brilliance
secret societies..gamblers owing money
no halos on our past hung on our heads
but in a way it made us real...faulted
the ghosts in our closet and skeletons from
our gardens of hard work arose and danced
to emphereal meaning of ritual.......

I worked bars for years...sober...as a judge
I let those worried and overwork express their
stress on my shoulder...they were the soldiers
and I was like their priest......we all have stories
to share.....the load too great for most..

and...

yes..I took girls home...we had a great time
I served them well....if joy was what they wanted
I gave them Joy...........
happiness then the dull drudgery of servitude
in exchange what I wanted was Intel..
which I got..
Information is worth everything

I am no angel
dirt is on my halo
but.
being human
makes me real

im no pretender
but of love
I do lend

no misery to cash
I float a few systems
grease too the wheels
capiche!!

I am a poet
and physically in my right here
in my city
I have my collective brute
force to work the trade
I am no pushover
intellectually or otherwise
I only deal with captains

so maybe I am so

either way
I am but a poet here

and I know talent when I find
it.....

U..are the most beautiful poet
I have read.....ever..
Never judge yourself otherwise
Sommer

this lonely dirt poor northern city
in ontario writer
Loves U...

so happy to find another brilliant
who can corner
and write
like me...

Please..Lets Survive

Mr Esker

xo

author comment

valene

Thu, 2016-09-29 23:05

You meant this to be for Sommer. You might want to copy it and paste it under her review of this poem.

Geezer

Wed, 2016-09-28 22:18

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Partied hearty, loved and lost
paid the price whatever the cost
Slowed way down with advancing age
Now find my place, on the right page
Content to hear another's woe
I keep silent, 'cause I know

Another great write Esker, ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Sparrow

Fri, 2016-09-30 04:02

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I am now so tired after such a night out, beautifully written and will leave a mark on the mind.
Being very picky but I stopped at the second line:- chosing clothes, please put another "o" in there to make it Choosing.
Loves your work, you young Wolf,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Esker

Sun, 2016-10-02 13:12

Esker's picture

spelling galore of errors
the comedy of delarte
thanks for noting it..
I remember high school
all the red circles
declined marks for all that
I did not to well..but enjoyed
school eventually socializing
finding a style and a few
friends!

I think we all relate being human
seeing in all of our works the bits
and peices being writers and poets
the creative vend of expressionism

Thank U all mighty and much!

Mr Wolf!

author comment

Sparrow

Sun, 2016-10-02 18:52

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Just think if someone has put lots of red marks on your papers it means that they have actually read it, could do with some red marks here on Neo (Smiles into my thoughts)
Take care out there, Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Esker

Sun, 2016-10-02 19:30

Esker's picture

and they put in a good effort! I was just lazy....
School I found interesting...and I remember
once the kids figured out I was not just a cement
head they would hang out and chat......Teachers
would drop by during lunch too..

Thank U Ian !

author comment

lovedly

Mon, 2016-10-03 17:31

lovedly's picture

alone,

are ''Story Worth''
your ink flows like a stream
that's what makes Ian scream,
is he dreaming
as poetry from you
ah yes is streaming

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