Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Rose

She had so many broken pieces
after all these years
leaving a disquiet of scars
Some of the shards piercing her still

When I gave her flowers
she had no chance of seeing
the field of regard and tenderness
from which they came

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Broken love - the impetus for so much poetry I thought I'd add another piece to the overfull genre. I think of her often, but moving on was the best thing for us both. It was just hard to see it at the time. Cheers
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

too many people out there that don't know how to move on, including the girl that can't appreciate the flowers. I think that this short, concise little poem illustrates this very well. Well done! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thanks Geez! I think knowing when to walk away is an acquired skill that some are better at than others, at least in my experience. I've had plenty of practice, LOL.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

I've seen plenty of friends and acquaintances, that have chased after and stalked former lovers! Some of them even want to fight the new people that said former lovers are now seeing! It doesn't make sense to me! If they don't want to be with you, it is like fighting over a coat too small; what are you going to do If/when you win? You can't wear the coat anyway! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Excellent analogy Geez - thanks!

Michael Anthony

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.