Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
A pool of light
Of ocean-blue; the Invite
Of woodland-green; into Abyss
Of background-gray; warning of the Risk.
Involved in stepping closer
without asking permission.
Involved in yearning
for forests and the seas
that form your shape, veiled in questions.
And gaps, filled with made-up answers.
Fear not; I remain here
A step away, even, maybe?
Fear not; pretend, I can:
Gray is all there ever was to see.
But dare you look at me and watch me dive;
I swim your waters, insanely free.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2023-06-15 13:20
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "A pool of light". Your poem is a beautiful depiction of the different shades of life and how we navigate through them. The use of colors to describe the different emotions and experiences is a great way to create vivid imagery in the reader's mind.
The first stanza sets the tone of the poem and introduces the different colors that will be used throughout the poem. The second stanza is where the speaker expresses their desire to explore and understand the world around them, even if it means taking risks. The line "And gaps, filled with made-up answers" is particularly powerful, as it highlights how we often fill in the gaps in our knowledge with assumptions and guesses.
The third stanza is where the speaker reassures themselves that they are not alone and that they can overcome their fears. The line "Gray is all there ever was to see" suggests that the speaker has been living in a world of uncertainty and ambiguity, but they are now ready to take a leap of faith.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Seren
Thu, 2023-06-15 08:02
Dear SO1987
First off welcome to Neopoet, I hope you enjoy your time here on the site.
I don't know if I am reading too much into this one, but I will say? its excellent it hints at things brimming with sorrow, it entices you to read to the very end and that's it isn't it? Since you've asked for us to use care on this subject, I will say no more except this is an excellent first poem.
I look forward to reading more from you.
Kind Regards
Seren :)
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Geezer
Thu, 2023-06-15 12:50
I hesitate...
to say that I enjoyed your poem, as the subject is so somber. I will say that it is a very well written piece, and I am sure that you will find some measure of what you seem to be looking for. I have my thoughts about what it is about, but for now, will keep them to myself. Seren is a very good judge of what is good poetry and I am sure that what she says is true. Keep writing and you will get all the help in becoming the very best poet that you can be. Welcome to Neo.~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.