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Perception's Lie
You spy a glimpse of her,
the happiest girl
Her smile so strong,
as she begins to twirl
Dancing with friends,
she never feels alone
Until you notice,
she never goes home
She sits in class and keeps her head down
Until someone says her name, she'll look around
Only to find it's just those boys
Mocking her, joking, always messing around
They poke her long sleeves
They laugh as she walks in
They rob her stretched smile
Yet, they don't realise it's only so long until her anger gives in
Her friends call it publicity
But she never craved fame
She smiles to teachers and says she's fine
But deep down, she'll always hate being the subject of torment by the class clown
Just realising now, perception does lie,
you've learnt to never trust the naked eye.
Style / type:
Free verse
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-10-01 11:40
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Perception's Lie" explores the theme of hidden pain and the discrepancy between appearances and reality. The imagery and narrative elements effectively convey the emotions and experiences of the subject. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened.
Firstly, consider refining the structure of the poem. While the rhyme scheme is consistent, the meter can be uneven in some lines, which disrupts the flow. Pay attention to the syllable count and rhythm to create a smoother reading experience.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of the central idea. Expand on the consequences of the subject's hidden pain and the impact it has on her relationships and overall well-being. This will provide a deeper exploration of the theme and create a stronger emotional connection with the reader.
Furthermore, consider incorporating more vivid and specific imagery to enhance the reader's understanding and immersion in the narrative. Show, rather than tell, the subject's experiences and emotions through sensory details and concrete descriptions.
Lastly, be mindful
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Lavender
Sun, 2023-10-01 12:30
Perception's Lie
Hello,
I know there are multiple layers within this poem, but the affect of bullying really stands out for me. You've made a powerful statement in your piece.
Thank you,
Lavender
Clentin
Sat, 2023-11-25 08:39
Your poem rings truth. After
Your poem rings truth. After 40+ year in the educational field I have seen my share of students with one face yet underneath had a real face with totally different feelings.