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None at All

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Wed, 2023-04-19 17:58

Digging deep to regain peace
No buried treasure will I find
Even locked in your embrace
I feel alone inside my mind

Holding hands and I’m a ghost
You’re touching vapors, not a man
Though I’m with you, I am gone
Without the means to understand

Everything is not enough
Just enough is none at all
None at all is easier
Than always trying not to fall

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Seren

Wed, 2023-04-19 23:47

Seren's picture

Heartbreaking poetry. This is a brilliant poem.

Bravo!

Kind Regards

Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Rosewood Apothecary

Thu, 2023-04-20 05:47

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
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I’ve been really busy with other stuff and feeling a bit invisible. I always kinda go back to the start with things just kinda put it down. This one hit close to the mark as far as conveying my current state of artistic imposter syndrome coupled with parental fatigue. I feel like I’m just not available, which why I’ve not come on site much of late.

I appreciate you tremendously
Tim

author comment

Seren

Mon, 2023-04-24 01:56

Seren's picture

I totally understand. I have had two surgeries and then right after I got out of hospital (I was ICU for a couple of weeks) my brother died. We had his service at 2.30 yesterday. I'm nearly home. I've had a shite time of it. I feel a little bit broken atm.

Hugs hope things improve for you I'm thinking good thoughts for you and sending you light!

So good to read your poetry. It was the only one I've had time to comment on in the last few weeks.

Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Ruby Lord

Thu, 2023-04-20 10:47

Ruby Lord's picture

Great poem. I enjoyed the sense of isolation you conjured up in those few lines. I think there is a tiny typo in the second line final verse, with the word, to. Overall very touching and human, thank you :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Geezer

Thu, 2023-04-20 11:00

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sometimes, everything is not enough, there is an empty place that we just cannot fill. I think that when we begin to feel that the pats on the back and the kiss on the forehead are just a matter of course, we feel like we have been cheated of something
Not that they are insincere, it's just that there seems to be no high associated with them. We are addicted to that high, we need it more than other people. It is times like that I try to remember, that if it happens to me, then it happens to others. So,
I make more of an effort to be especially grateful and show others my appreciation of them. Little things can mean so much.
Maybe just giving another recognition for the pats on the back and the kiss on the forehead; "I love how you make me feel like I am the most important person in the world." I'm sure that the expectations of others can weigh heavily on one's shoulders and we often feel like we are underperforming. Keep on keeping on and you will get the high that you need. The second line in the last stanza, needs a tweak, I would leave out the [to] in the line: "Just [to] enough is none at all."
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Thu, 2023-04-20 14:30

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Hello, Tim,
Your poem is so clear and concise...maybe time to take a walk and rest among the trees?
My best to you,
L

Rosewood Apothecary

Thu, 2023-04-20 15:18

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Ruby thanks for the good eyes with the typo. Fixed that and fixed in my computer too. Appreciate that.

Geezer you got it. It’s just old and boring and I’d rather not live the letdowns after the emotional highs. Some specific triggers this week but I’m already sorta getting past it all.

Lavender. I’m heading out there right now as a matter of fact. You know me pretty well.

Thanks to all three of you for reading and commenting. It’s nice to hear from you.

Tim

author comment

RoseBlack

Mon, 2023-04-24 17:35

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I understand the feeling of not being available/invisible. Reasons I am so late to commenting on this. Writing it out is always a good place to start. Glad you are moving past all of it. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

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