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My Cup Runneth Over

Submitted by Lavender on Mon, 2023-05-22 18:08

It happened
when you

flowed into
my world and

whispered
"I do."

A porcelain
vessel

became the
boundless sea.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2023-05-22 18:08

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "My Cup Runneth Over," is a brief but powerful exploration of the transformative power of love. The speaker describes the moment when their beloved entered their life and made it infinitely richer - simply by saying "I do." The metaphor of a porcelain vessel becoming a boundless sea is striking, emphasizing how love can expand our world beyond what we ever thought possible.

One possible line edit to consider would be changing "flowed into" to "walked into," as the latter may more clearly evoke the image of the beloved entering the speaker's life.

Overall, "My Cup Runneth Over" is a beautifully concise and evocative poem that captures the profound impact of love on the human heart.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Mon, 2023-05-22 18:15

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I will consider the suggestion of "walked" - though I wanted the image to bring something that would enhance "runneth over."
Thanks again!
L

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-05-22 23:41

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you should keep the "runneth over" Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Tue, 2023-05-23 10:01

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I definitely want to keep the sense of flowing.
Thank you so much!
L

author comment

Ruby Lord

Tue, 2023-05-23 06:53

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Oooh that's so good, your imagery is laid out like an oil painting. Well done, loved it. Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Lavender

Tue, 2023-05-23 10:02

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You are very kind. I appreciate your warm comments!
Thank you,
L

author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2023-05-23 07:28

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I really love this style of poetry you have crafted...it is yours. beautiful!

(I have been away for awhile due to illness) this is the first poem I have read since coming back, and I feel uplifted by it!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Lavender

Tue, 2023-05-23 10:04

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I've noticed you've been absent. I'm so sorry you haven't been feeling ill. I hope that you are well now! Thank you for reading and commenting. I always appreciate your thoughts!
L

author comment

Seren

Thu, 2023-05-25 12:45

Seren's picture

This is art in word. Absolutely gorgeous. It's s real gift to be able to say so much with so little

Sigh I've missed your poetry. Along with everyone else of course with time I'll catch up.

Love & hugs

J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Lavender

Fri, 2023-05-26 15:43

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Love that you are back! Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading more from you.Take good care of your wonderful self. :)
Much love,
Lx

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