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LIFE’S BETTER WHEN YOU IGNORE THE SHIT
To rise each day, use a curtain alarm,
it saves you from pain and personal harm.
Allows you to arrive at unhurried pace,
and celebrate slowly, coming last in the race.
Each morning a comedy, free of ill humours,
Secured in whispers, not celebrity rumours.
With stories unfolding, innuendos expand,
And every reporter, shakes dysentery hand,
To chat over cow muck, the snake oil salesman,
In game of banter, to buy and sell you again.
But I’m as happy as shit on a rock,
Late out of bed, daylight savings o’clock.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I'm learning to create a better life through being more laid back and not getting stressed about our political systems and candidates. I'm going to get up naturally and take a deep breath and let the bull sh!t wash away while I smile, and if this hits the mark with you, I'm happy. Ruby :)
Editing stage:
Workshop:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-11-21 16:02
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "LIFE’S BETTER WHEN YOU IGNORE THE SHIT" employs a satirical tone to critique societal norms and media influence. It utilizes a variety of poetic devices, including rhyme, rhythm, and metaphor, to convey its message.
The poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza containing four lines. This regularity aids in the flow of the poem and makes it easier for the reader to follow. The rhyme scheme is also consistent, which adds a rhythmic quality to the poem.
The use of metaphor and simile is prevalent throughout the poem, particularly in lines such as "And every reporter, shakes dysentery off hand" and "But I’m as happy as shit on a rock". These lines add a layer of complexity to the poem and invite the reader to delve deeper into the text to understand its meaning.
The poem's language is colloquial and informal, which fits well with the satirical tone. However, some lines could be more concise to improve clarity. For example, the line "To chat over cow muck, they’re snake oil sales men" could be simplified to "Chatting over cow muck, they're snake oil salesmen".
The poem's theme of rejecting societal norms and media influence is clear and effectively conveyed. However, the poem could benefit from a more explicit exploration of this theme. For instance, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's reasons for rejecting these norms and influences, or it could explore the consequences of this rejection.
In conclusion, the poem effectively utilizes a variety of poetic devices to convey its satirical critique of societal norms and media influence. However, it could benefit from more concise language and a deeper exploration of its theme.
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Geezer
Tue, 2023-11-21 12:15
If that is all...
it takes to make you happy, you should be ecstatic here! You have kept the meter within a reasonable one beat
[and hardly noticeable] plus or minus and the rhyme is excellent. ~ Geez.
.
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Ruby Lord
Tue, 2023-11-21 13:13
Thank you Geezer, your
Thank you Geezer, your comments as always are really helpful. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Ruby Lord
Wed, 2023-11-22 08:08
Hi Mark, thank you for
Hi Mark, thank you for reading and commenting. I only hope you are off the floor now and on your way to a full recovery?
Take care, Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Unca Fez
Sat, 2023-11-25 21:28
I've A Couple of Thoughts To Live By
This echoes something I learned a long time ago and I refresh, occasionally, with a couple of thoughts:
1. I was looking for a job when I found this one.
2. If they ask me to dig a hole, I dig a hole. If they ask me to fill it in, I fill it in. The pay's the same either way.
It's kept me sane at work for a lot of years.
Your approach to life should allow you to live happily for as long as your body lets you.
Thanx,
Steve
Ruby Lord
Sun, 2023-11-26 05:27
Hi Steve, thank you for your
Hi Steve, thank you for your read and comments.
Your first point reminds me of The Smiths song, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now as it starts with:
I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now.
And your second point is proof that a clever man knows when to stay quiet. I love it, Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-11-26 13:12
Dear Ruby,
I tripped over the first line of your poem, unsure of the meaning. A curtain alarm, does it mean being awoken by the sun shining through your window? I hope I have guessed correctly. Your title made me *smile, and I enjoyed the whole topic declaration! Keep on writing and I will keep on reading and appreciating.
p.s.
I am OCD (amongst a few other mental illnesses) so this was great to read! thanks!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ruby Lord
Sun, 2023-11-26 14:16
Hi Cat, yes that's exactly
Hi Cat, yes that's exactly right, the light that creeps through the edges of the curtains and wakes me up in the morning. I am not an early riser, we don't have an alarm clock in the bedroom anymore so everything is pitch black until the sun comes up. Thank you for your comment and question. I like being in bed until I wake up naturally, it makes life less stressed. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lamington
Mon, 2023-11-27 11:25
Happy as....
I am not sure "happy as shit on a rock" works really. Why would a turd be happy on a rock where it would dry out?
Ruby Lord
Mon, 2023-11-27 13:10
Hi Lamington, it's ny nod to
Hi Lamington, it's ny nod to Dirty Harry so maybe I'll have a re-think and come up with something more appropriate? Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.