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Forgetting with Jack

Submitted by Seren on Sun, 2012-08-26 05:52

we sat and listened
as his heart broke
a crack was heard
as each word spoke

he had lost sight of truth
when he was betrayed
tricked by her slight of hand
seduced with a magical cat

a bar stool found
his searching feet,
and his hand found Jack

purpose drained
as each glass emptied
reason and sanity fell away

all she had left
were empty boxes
in dusty corners
a stray piece of lego
had stood stationary on its end
waiting for small hands
that had once been the master
of its kingdom

Jack lays on his side
and with a wimping snore, breaking
the even stillness of silence

I lay here looking for tomorrow
hoping soberity and hope emerges,
from the emptying bottle of despair
he now dwells in to forget

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

loved

Sun, 2012-08-26 08:14

loved's picture

for ..slight

'''sleight ...''

may be more appropriate...

loved

Seren

Mon, 2012-08-27 01:34

Seren's picture

thanks for the suggestion i will consider it when i do the next edit

regards JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

weirdelf

Sun, 2012-08-26 09:06

weirdelf's picture
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powerful compassionate poem,

I hope for him.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Seren

Mon, 2012-08-27 01:36

Seren's picture

I wrote this one some time ago, I am in the middle of writing another poem, his pain seems never ending we cant not be affected thanks for the read and the visit

cheers JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Esker

Mon, 2012-08-27 02:46

Esker's picture

the drink takes the pain away
dulls the edge
and enlivens more pain
more hurt
and sharpens more edges
more ghosts with keenness

never ending

for the moment I wake with
purpose
but the old hurts the old
ghosts rise to ravage me and
my others

I feel for all in this work
Thank You JC

Seren

Tue, 2012-08-28 05:22

Seren's picture

The pain never goes away
we just learn to deal with it

from time to time bourbon
brings back the memories
ive been there and done that
many times over

thank you for taking the time to feel
Its a true compliment

regards JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-09-27 05:06

Ian.T's picture
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I see the colours of your tears as if they were fire opals, dripping in the memories of before.It is so hard not to be drawn in to grief, I know not of the situation but can feel the pain.
A very touching write, there is only my thoughts of healing, that I give to you,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Thu, 2012-09-27 07:23

Seren's picture

I wrote this one for a friend who was going through a very bad breakup .... I have never seen anyone so shattered it was hard not to be affected by his grief thanks for the kind comment this one was always for me and the family .... one day I will edit it

hugz n love Jc xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
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