Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Flood Gates

The flood gates are open
non stop tears
perhaps this is where it ends
drowning

In the memories of not so long ago
I never learned to swim
nor to stay afloat

The gates have not closed
they never will
a song,a word
or a thought
I'm lost in the darkness
of the water

Never to be the same
no rescue or respite in sight
only darkness and despair
for the rest of my years

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

thank you. I did use in

It isn't just death more so the loss of a relationship in the case of this poem it is both. I'm very big on titles if the tittle does not draw you in and the first line hold you then in my opinion it is time to rewrite

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment

I never cry
let many come by
I fill up buckets
in a day or two
then believe me
I drink and with the balance
wash my face
Corona you know
I can't swim

lovely poem ...Lynn

thank you stopping by to read. I appreciate it

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment

experienced the deepest grief yet and pray that it is I that goes first, so that I do not. You have said it so smoothly and yet with the jarring end that lets one know that it hurts still. Grief personified. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you for stopping in and leaving a comment

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.