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FIRE DANCE

Submitted by Jokerface82 on Sat, 2024-09-14 03:44

She starts to lose her bonfire
blushing coat, scraping along
they look like lost paper red
boats, helped along by his
whooshing clutches.

Her fiery crisp leaves waltzing
effortlessly, feeling his wheezing
mint cold breadth, frigid body,
interlocked
by a numbing grip of death

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
09/24 Bon Fire
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Sat, 2024-09-14 09:50

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The imagery in your poem is vivid and evocative, creating a sense of movement and contrast between the elements of fire and coldness. The use of personification with the bonfire and leaves adds depth to the poem. Consider exploring the themes of transformation and contrast further to enhance the overall impact of your piece. Additionally, pay attention to the flow and structure of your lines to ensure a smooth reading experience for the audience.

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