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DYING STARS EDIT
ABOUT DYING STARS
The world is shrinking and from my window
alI I can see is an old mango tree.
I open the door and wait to hear footsteps
that will stop to chat a while with me.
the walls are closing in and every day
something else of me is taken away.
but my mind surrenders to my
changing worlds and I learn to love
the little things that still twirl
around my dying star,.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Sparrow
Tue, 2016-02-02 19:30
Joe
That you twirl around a star, there in that twinkle is a thought that even something so big will die.
Yet we live young traveller in the shadow of lesser beings.
There as each star dies another is born, all energy is eternal and lucky for us we are but energy.
Come visit my cave when there is a need young Joe.
Yours as always Ian..
PS:- Many thanks to Richard for his help in your writing..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Geremia
Tue, 2016-02-02 19:43
yes. :)
yes. :)
author commentRula
Wed, 2016-02-03 07:32
beautiful
though sad!
You are endlessly talented Joe
Take care.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Geremia
Wed, 2016-02-03 08:16
Thank you, Rula !
Thank you, Rula !
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2016-02-03 10:01
So glad that...
you are still writing! It makes a heart feel good to see the strength you still have left. So glad that you show how adversity is and can be overcome with determination. Write on dear Joe! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Geremia
Wed, 2016-02-03 10:03
writing keeps me among my
writing keeps me among my friends at NEO
author commentSparrow
Wed, 2016-02-03 19:27
Joe
Your thoughts no matter how small
or from where ever
will be heard among the stars
as this old world gives up its greatness,
There in that love of being we will meet,
Thank you Richard for transposing Joe's thoughts.
Those thoughts travel among the stars
There in eternity they will rest,
and be kept for ever.
Yours as always, Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti