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D E S , , , N A C H M I T T A G

Submitted by Esker on Tue, 2012-07-17 21:09

silken one
a sky steeped
fetch yourself through rivers
of alleys
spires where angels kneel

fits of elation
tremble on your head
a steady remainder
of the time you were dead

I saw the happiness you
hung
like sunlight beams
for evening dance

you lay your coolness
upon my brow
the heat and thrill
a shadow chill
a curtsy bow

a black and white
recital stream
that whispers dark
a sacred dream

unspoken storms
down winter stairs
like rust corroded
flyer tacks
these suncorched
lairs where winds
speak
high
upon the lope of wire
borne

the crash emerge
the pages torn

..

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

William Saint George

Wed, 2012-07-18 14:55

William Saint George's picture

Great poem. You carry the thought through sparse lines. I noticed this though
"suncorched"

Should that be sun-scorched?

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Esker

Wed, 2012-07-18 18:05

Esker's picture

a definate typo Thank You for this correction

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Ian.T

Wed, 2012-07-18 18:42

Ian.T's picture
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This one has a beauty all of its own, and is carried through with a vision of passing time, Yours Ian.T
PS:- Nothing else to say beauty is beauty.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geezer

Thu, 2012-07-19 18:49

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You create images with such spare lines! Only crit is: I think you meant [loop] istead of lope. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Esker

Thu, 2012-07-19 19:33

Esker's picture

the wires running along not in a hurry
but their slow bound
Driving and riding in the car watching the
shiny steel at dusk on the pole tops

Loop would mean circle come again on itself
which is incorrect
I havent checked it on google for correctness
yet

Thanks Gee

P.S. just checked "to run along in easy stride"
its also the weather the clouds in row bounding
along for ever beyond the horizon

days Lope along hot and weathered
..

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Ian.T

Fri, 2012-07-20 03:42

Ian.T's picture
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Some of the words we use are called poetic licence, that the wires lope, is your way, and we is correct and you is also.
(Though circle ???)
In this context I think it was a word that came in to make us think and the comments show this.
The visual image was of wires slowly flowing from post to post in a loping way Sinusoidal is a lovely way of seeing them.
I was in Ottawa many years ago doing Cold weather trials on Helicopters and the ice builds up on the rotor blades in that thick thin way of loping away to the ends.
Now look what you have done I shall lope off till next we meet again as a Wolf moving silently through the forest,
Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Fri, 2012-07-20 08:44

Esker's picture

what is language
but the phonetic magic and wonder
to express convey

I have not thought of "lope" in years
either and then when I was writing this
it arrived and was perfect

I played scrabble with Loris sister
and she is amazing fast and articulate
with words
but I dont think she writes poetry
as its not her great passion love nor
interest
so even some people with greater
capacity of words then I
sometimes do not just put words
together to make something
beautiful

Helicopters thanks to Siekorsky
are beautiful too
Machines that need tending
They need perfect form
and their punctuations and meter
and rhyme or they willl fall from
the sky

I have read manuals from Vietnam
pilots and many books on helicopters
and been in a 1964 Bell
small passenger copter

Now I must Lope away to work
coffee radio and task tendings

Thank You

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Ian.T

Fri, 2012-07-20 11:38

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Your reply is great, I have here two books "A Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English" Printed ISBN 0 7100 1935 1 These Vol 1 and 2 are old books but what beautiful words and phrases they have in them.
This came out as a reprint in 1974 I love them as they hold so much information, and most times I use a dictionary, but of late I have been lazy and used the WWW bits, lol..
I have been in helicopters for 23 years I worked for Boscombe Down we had 14 different choppers and I spent many great times in Canada.
Ontario and Alberta where we use to do the winter tests on all types of choppers.
We had to test what happens to the controls at very low Temps there and it was quite an interesting job I loved it I was on the Avionic's side of them.
Anyway enough about me for now we shall watch with interest as to some memory words returning lol Take care young man and know we think of you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Fri, 2012-07-20 13:36

Esker's picture

Hospital is right around corner from us too and
the Italian Made helicopters for Air ambulance flies
in for pick ups Fast Sleek and beautiful

We have search and rescue and commercial
capable of landing 747's and the large Russian
cargo carriers too

Yesterday we had a large four engine craft with
diamond shaped cable from nose to wings to tail
to wing to nose again with trailing wires
beautiful I figure its some kind of polar eavedropping
antennae for Russia surveilance
Red on the wingtips

Only thing I know of is short wave
an old 1979 Halicrafter five tube set I almost had
but I knew guy who worked on the old
fifties sabre radar too
if they had it on those then
maybe later jets

must go
love words

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